my world my story

I've moved?...mayb not

2006-09-14T13:11:00.000+08:00

Hey, just set up my space. Probably you'll hear more from me at my space than here. I'll still check and will reply all tags. :)

http://www.myspace.com/sketchbk

Cheers

The day i called mine

2006-09-07T23:19:00.000+08:00

Many thks friends for the bday wishes. You made this day especially special. :)

Adrian, Yan ling and Ting - - thks for the advance(X2) bday celebration cum gathering. Havent seen Adrian since we grad and each into our own adventure. Oh yes...Ting, survial kit is a reminder that i can have control of my day no matter how i feel.

Mum-Ang bao. Come in handy coz need to pay for mission trip liaoz. Just paid $120 for the grad tickets...Ooooo super broke. hee hee

Oh yes.. Vince aka boss Andrew Nicholas Marcus Anthony Joyce1 Joyce 2 Sharon....had a great time makaning with you guys. Vince..thks for the bday lunch. You make it thou you are down with flu. Well.... be good. Home to zzz instead of chionging. Ha ha.

Marcus is really sweet. Came and pick me up. Feel like a princess manz... latest to arrive. Ha ha ha..do really make me feel special. Well..its my day! *winks*

Andrew-always the life wire. Yes yes yes, i want digital camera.
Dont want disposal one. Hump!!!

Vince- a great boss and a big bro to have. Ha ha...not offically big bro thou but i think i'm very blessed to have such favor from boss. Yeah.. i deserve the treat. Like giving treat to little sister.

I'm truly enjoying myself more and more at work...with colleagues that never fails to brighten my day. Thou bz and some times a bit fustrated, overall great. A great bunch of people to be with. The sadden thing is that... they are not believers. Daddy, let me be the light and salt that will make a difference in their world!

Mag & Celia - woooo sushi teh at raffles city is awesome man! The atmosphere is amazing. Outstanding interior design! Highly recommend!!!!

Mummy & David Ong -call from Korea. So sweet and heart warming to have someone remembering my bday thou having holiday in Korea. Very very blessed.

Godpa-thks for the bday song! hahahaha Must had taken lot from Godpa. He is not a very loud and xpressive person eh. *winks*

Oh yes not forgetting to Thank Daddy who knows me the deepest! Thks for fashioning me and bring me into this world on 07 09 * mucks*

The little girl in me

2006-09-05T22:59:00.001+08:00

Met Bro Joel Baker today. Wow, its like a gfit from God. Remembered tht i was mentioning to someone that i missed him last sat. A total surprise when anouncement was made on Sunday that he will be speaking on encounter night. Cool... Feel like a little girl being pampered by her Daddy. Thank you Daddy for a wish come true. :)

Haha.. i laff as Bro Joel came over & called me "darling" with a hug. Its really comforting. Bro Joel is my dean when i enrolled myself to Tung Ling Bible School some time back,...erm say abt 8 / 9 yrs ago. As i was walking to church in preparing myself for receiving a word from God, I'm remindered of what Bro Joel spoke to me the other time he came to preach at 0832. I remembered that i'm struggling as i was sharing with him some of my thots for my life. I dont know why but i broke down infront of him. He prayed with me and said, :" LOVE JESUS." In whatever i'm doing, never give up in loving Jesus.

Awh..... Lord Jesus. Tears fill my eyes as this phrase rings in my ears. I was so conscience of people around me as i make my way to church. It feels as thou my mouth is filled with smth that's so hard to swallow . I couldnt expres further but tears has been filling my eyes lately.

"If you LOVE me, Feed my SHEEP"

Picking up

2006-08-27T23:14:00.000+08:00

Today's packed manz. But i'm happy. Tired thou. I had fun while leading the children in worship. Haha...will not forget the move. I think i enjoyed myself more than the children did.

Its a miracle that i've played the guitar for 4days ...oooo my fingers are numb. Its been a long long time eversince i've played the guitar. One word to describe: OUCH! but..bearable.

Well, Pst Jon spoken about the seasons of our spiritual life. I'm thinking and piecing which season am i in. Godma was saying i'm moving towards Spring. Hmm..breakthru? *Shrugs* maybe i am..but like not so in my perspective. I'm not sure. Mayb God will unfold it bit by bit.

Taught in contact cell on vision from Jer 1:5. I mentioned:" God had a vision of you, placed in you a destiny." Felt as thou i'm preaching to myself. I need to go back to what God had envision me to be. I'll need to condition myself to walk with God in reaching my destiny with Him.

What should i do?

2006-08-26T23:58:00.000+08:00

Bottled emotions are starting to burst. I'm sorry Ivan, I dun mean to be so "Shi Li".
Yes i'm fighting the batttle of emotions, heart and mind.

And I worship you Lord
My life in You restored
Here is my HEART
Make it Your SANCTUARTY
For nobody else but
JESUE only YOU!

Reflecting

2006-08-24T00:31:00.000+08:00

Just this wk, have been taking bus instead of MRT, which is a faster mode of transport for me to be home. Well, reason being i'm able to chit-chat with God while looking at the images passing by. Its part of my enjoyment in life. Maybe its a little strange for some of us. But i guess i'm on a very reflective mood these days. Perhaps when i got my driver's licence and able to own a car, i'll probably drove down to somewhere i can slack and enjoy the breeze. Wow, its a dream to be reached. (Daddy, give me the grace and favor to clear the driving test!!)

Alot of things has been on my mind. My heart cries for a sounding board but such things seem to be too confidential. Sigh~ Just 1 wrong comment might cause others' faith to weaver. Its simply not edifying and encouraging.

I've received a msg: Jer 33:3 'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.' Oh Daddy, you know my heart. I want to give you the greatest smile. The aim of my life is to make you smile! There is just so much tension Daddy. How can i ever bring your name glory and magnify your name in everything i do? This include the decisions i make. Nothing matter most than to hear You whispering my name and say:" Well done my daughter. I take delight in you; i'm most please with you."

Daddy, give me the strength to understand Your heart, courage to share the burden that's upon Your heart, perseverance to finish this journey here with You.
____________________________________________________________________
I seems to be lagging behind. Should i pray for an encounter or divine intervention? With my human understanding, its not going to happen. Maybe its like Sarah who laugh when learnt about having a son after passed her most fruitful time of youth. Well, i'm not sure. Daddy, i can only cling on Matt 6:33
____________________________________________________________________
Took a bus down to Great world city today from Rafflesplace. As the bus travelled, it passed by SGH. Memories of my dad flashed in my mind as if it was yesterday. The creepy feeling of having to witness the body of my dad is once again slip into me. And i scrolled down the contact list of my phone, dad's mobile number and Alvin Tan's mobile number are still stored. I remeber praying for my dad when we're on the way to SGH. I sat that the railing of the carpark outside A&E and these words: " My dad will not die." is impressed on my heart. I dont know if i sense correctly but my dad passed on. On his death bed, i cried out.. Lord, You promised me that my dad will not die! And guess what, my dad's heartbeat returned for awhile and then stopped. That is my last encounter with my dad.

This month is exactly my dad's death anniversary. Oh boy, i missed him so much. I'll never forget how he cheered me on in finishing my education.

Recent distractions

2006-08-17T10:44:00.000+08:00

Hey, 3 more weeks to my birthday. Cool... this yr, erm kinda feel that its different. I've got Ting came asking me: " So which day are u free to celebrate your Bday?" I was like:"Huh? that's 2 mths in advance booking!" We laughed. Well, i'm always so bz till this dear fren of mine gotta book me 2 mths in advance. This is BAD!!!!! Ok ok... folks, i'll shuffle my time k. For you guys!

What i thot of:
Street soccer boots / shoe
Sandals-Quek you know wad i'm talking about. Haha
A new pair of Heels
Running Shoe
Shoe Bag
Black Skirt
Short Dress
Watch
New set of accessories
Enroll into a Street Jazz classes
..... cant think of others at the moment. Think i shd not be too greedy. Haha. Okies.
____________________________________________________________

I'm very blessed by a blog that i visited. A songwriter / guitarist / bassist. Cool huh! The songs are awesome. Each song that is written comes with a story. Well, that's my stand too, every song carrys a msg and i like this :" i dont know when i'll breathe the last but i wont forget who gave the 1st." - my breath of life!

Visited another blog : Brazilian with a passion for the world. The articles he wrote... Man, he is consumed by the passion to reach people for Christ. He is in his fifties but yet that flame in him is still burning with great desire to see the nations turning to Christ. Wow..... its fascinating to be connected to him. Its just amazing how he got me at friendster. I'm just waiting for my Paradigm of mission to be enlarged.

Going on?

2006-08-14T13:28:00.000+08:00

I'm pretty satisfied with my creation....the fake coffin. Amazed by myself wif the ideas and scare resources that i have to dress it. Maybe JG services shd do smth like that ...i think i keep the excitement going on. Everyone is so excited about it. Joy still the best.. played amazing grace while the leaders and musicians are praying.

Well, unexpected for uncle CW to show the passion of christ on sat. But i believe it impacted many on why did Jesus die. Our salvation does not come cheap. Christ suffered so much! I kept holding back my tears as i watch how Christ suffered. It will be the very reminder that will stop me from walking away from Christ.

I once ask my brother : "What if i fall and walk away from my faith?" 1st thing my brother asked me:" why? you have too many things on your plate?"

I wonder why he ask me this qnz. Hmmm mayb my bro does understands me. I wont deny Christ, but i think my courage of making an impact and change is diminishing. If i'll to fall away, it will take a long long time to be back to where i am. Probably park myself in some big churches where you can come and go without people realising it.

Oh Lord, Keep me near to your heart that i can find the strength and courage to go on.

Our World

2006-08-12T00:58:00.000+08:00

Why am i up during this time... Eh..cant explain thou but jus thot of blogging. Hmm that's strange for myself. I thot i'm out of blogging. But seems like its coming back. Well, that's a gd sign. I've got someting to share. Ha ha.. :D

My boss's baby gurl makes her 1st cry on 11th Aug, 1:25pm. Cool huh. We were all so excited and shared the joy with him. ( Hey Vince, congrats to the arrival of Xania! ;) ) Gonna visit Pauline later today in the evening.

i made a statement on sunday while leading worship : "God holds the universe, He can definitely hold our world." I began to give thots to it. i think it should be : " God, You hold the universe; hold the world together!" There's so many happenings in the middle east. What is God feeling at this moment? I know that these things or happenings are not at all surprising. It jus prove one thing. Jesus is coming back real soon. Whether you like it or not, He's coming back.

The bible says that the Love of many will grow cold in the last days. I believe it's coz the days are evil. And we have high tendency to lost hope! Looking at the world ard us.... we began to think if this really makes sense. Is living our faith making sense? Well, in the 1st place, having a relationship with a living God is not making sense. Isnt it? Who on earth wld think of that. That's why many cant figure out salvation is as easy as confessing and making Jesus your Lord and Saviour. Its that easy? They question.

Well, the love of many grow cold not becoz they are not able to reach the lost for Christ. Love grew cold becoz many lost the joy in serving the Lord. Too many disappointment had cloud the very joy and passion they had when they 1st started. That's why Bible emphazes on finishing our race well! As i ponder over Deu 30:11-20 & Hebrew 12:1-2. I have some conclusions.

1) Hebrew 12:1-2.
Its on the topic of faith, and running the race; our fight of faith. Aside from the witness, there's this one word that caught my attention. JOY. Out of no where, joy is mentioned. I belive its the key word in these 2 verses. The linkage? We can only finish the race or fight this fight of faith with this joy that's inside of us. I interpreate this joy as the joy of our salvation. The joy we had experienced when we 1st accepted Christ in our hearts. Its this joy that moves us to serve the Lord, to read His word, to pray, to care and encourage people ard us. This joy can be so easily rob away. I'm praying for many ministers of the Lord to have this joy restored in them. I just sense that in the mdist of ministering to the people of God, it came along hurt, disappointment, betrayal, accusation : - offense of the Heart. In order for us to be effective ministers of the Lord, we need to constantly examine our hearts and let God restore the well being of our spirit and soul.

2) Deu 30:11-20
It has one main theme - Choose LIFE!
Steps to do so? (A) Loving God (B) Obeying God (C) Holding fast to God

(A) Loving God - Mark 16:30
Love the Lord your God with all Your heart, with all your soul, With all your mind and with all your strength. Loving God whole-heartedly. It comprises of all our being. This brought to remembrace of a song: "Teach me to worship you, Teach me to adore you. .... I want to love you, with my whole being.. " With all that is happening to ppl of Israel or in Israel, God calls his people to love Him with all of their being. How to love God? Apply Mark 16:30. I love what Bro LT said. Its not 50% of this and 50% of that = 100%. Its 100% of our heart, 100% of our soul, 100% of our mind, 100% of our strength. Its only possbile for the next step to take place when we make a choice to set our priority to Love God despite of.....

(B) Obeying God.
God delights in obedience. The famous quoto: Obedience is better than sacrifice. God doesnt care what we are capable of. E.g Dorcus can successfully sacrifice her lunch inorder to buy daddy's desired piece of song collection. I believe she will be successful in winning her daddy's favor. But it pleases her daddy more when she choose to obey his instructions. To obey God is making Him smile. Well, that's the aim of my life. :) *grinz* Its hard to choose to obey without 1st loving God. I remeber making this statement once: " I love Jesus too much to do the things that will hurt our relationship." When you love God so much, automatically, he will want to please His heart. Thou it may not be your cup of tea or not to the way you would like matter to be resolved. But becoz you understand Your Father's heartbeat , you are willing to surrender . Paul always describe himsself as the bond servant of Christ. That means, God has the every right to alter and intervene in your life any time. Even if it means marrying the person He wants you to. This reminds me of Auntie Eva. She shared that she is married to Uncle Paul out of obedience to God. Isnt that cool?!

(C) Hold fast to God.
Hold fast seems to have the implication of a chaotic situation and you need to be very alert and keep your focus. If you refer to the verse in Deu 30: 11 onwards, i believe you can image the situation. In the mdist of confusion, doubt, wrong doctrine or false prophets, we need to hold fast to God. (A) and (B) is the preparation for us when we are pressed by such situations. As i've mentioned eariler - the world is dieing and the time is ticking away. We need to hold fast to God who is our hope and our salvation. In times of difficulty or testing, always be quick to run back to God. He is our strong tower, our present help in times of need! I want to end off by leaving you with this verse.

" ....For the Lord is your life and He will give you many years in the land ...."

Deu 11:20b

* He determines the no of years you exist on this planet! *

Energy?

2006-08-07T10:12:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired. Seems like most of my mondays will be very tired and drained out. Not Monday blues but i guess my energy is used up mostly on saturdays and sundays. Today woke up with a bad throat. My throat hurts...cant sing anything. :( Nose running also. I think i'm falling sick liaoz. Yucks! Bodyache also.

Yesterday, Bro LT spoke. I always enjoy myself when he speaks. He spoke somthing that's very close to my heart. As i sat there, i cant help it , tears fills my eyes. Once again, i'm remindered that i'm in this journey that i'm not building buildings but building people. How true it is; this requires loads of effort, time, energy, love but the return is little. What more about building leaders. We've really bring in the shopping culture in our nation to the church. We want to spend little and get the maximum.

A selfish part of me would want to stay at worship leading or org an event. That's easy, after i've finish it, there's no strings attached to it. Leave it to the welfare of the church, leave it to others to follow-up on the believers, leave it to the teachers to ground the believers with the Word of God. On the other hand, i know the area of welfare in the church has a great need of labourors. Jesus said to Peter:" if you love me, feed my sheep."

Can i say that feeding the sheep would also means taking care of the sheep? high level of committment? u bet! Haha, well there's nothing new abt level of committment. I've got a fren, asking me abt my involvement in church and she shakes her head. Mayb next time i shd not mention so much on which area i'm involved in. I think it scares her off. Is there any willing souls to take over? I'm waiting for the day that i can pass it on.

My heart-ache

2006-07-17T10:12:00.000+08:00

Woke up this morning with bodyaches.... shoulders might be due to the swim on sat and legs..haha coz of powerhse worship. Did a fare bit of jumping with the children. But the feeling is shiok thou bodyache. Was thinking of going for slow run but afraid that it might be quite bad for my knees.. so gotta put that aside till tmr. Yea.

Felt real lousy yesterday coz i scolded some ppl which i had been reframing myself from doing so. It irks me but yet given a choice i dont want to carry out the scolding. Suddenly i can understand God's heart. He gave the ppl of israel so many warns, send so many prophets to remind them. Becoz it pains Him to bring judgement on His beloved ppl. I know that God do not delight in judgement and wrath. Bible recorded so many times that Jesus is moved with compassion for the people.

I gotta really pray that God, stretch my heart so that i can embrace more people. Pour out more of your love so that i can love more people. I think i cared too much sometimes till i gotta harden my heart to see people going thru situations in their life. I rem a news was broken to me concerning 2 youths. I sat there at the mother's room and tears rolled down my cheeks jus like that. I wept. I dont know where did the tears come from, but i was speechless, feeling lost at the same time. There's simply nothing i can do. I guess i can only stay by their side and carry them till they are restored? This can only be done provided i am given the access to do so.

Well, *shrugs*. Such moments are unavoidable. People come , people go. To mature and grow is really one's choice. Outside forces might push you to a corner to grow but such growth is short -term. Its the condition of our hearts that determine the grwoth and maturity in us. - Parable of the sower.

Order, order, order!

2006-07-14T10:53:00.000+08:00

Well, by now i believe many will know how much i drag whenever it rains. I never like situation that are grey, sticky or tricky. It's like putting your hands into making a dough where water and egges are more than flour. And bits and pieces of the "dough" sticks to your hand. *ewwww* For making dough, its easy to rectify the situation. Simply add flour slowly and mix it evenly. However, its not so, for life situation. Thou the principle of patience still applies but its not that simple as adding flour. Human beings have emotions. Have to take care of their feelings and respond. Reason being we want to acheive a win-win situation.

What's the point of making a big whoo haa , get everyone so upset and nothing is be done. The situation is any not better. Many times i would really be very glad if ppl are more conscience and do what they know very well they gotta do rather always need to be nagged at or reminded again and again or scolding? haha. You'll always see announcements such as "Please kindly switch your mobile phone to silent mode" in church services , concert halls or cinema. I concluded, human beings need reminders even if its things that are so logical and minor. Its been countless times that reminders such as do not talk during service has been given. Still up to today, such reminders have to be executed. Well, in a gentle manner. Not sure if we should follow the world cup to give yellow cards and red cards. Can never forget a speaker's comment:" Wow, you are early!..... for 11am service. " Do we need to be given scolding befcre things can be put in order? *shrugs*

I'm hoping that we need not to experience what Jesus did at the temple courts, turning the tables of the merchants to bring the marketing activities to a stop, so as to restore the house of God, putting things in order.

My Focal Pt

2006-06-27T10:14:00.000+08:00

Hey Friends,
Its been a long long time since i've blog. Well, jus thot that i might write something here this morning. Ever since started to work, hmmm i must say that God's really watching over me in all my steps. i cant help it but to say that God's at work. It must be God, if not i wont be enjoying my work and yet have the time for other activities. It must be God, if not i wont have the strengthen to carry on.

Extra focus needed, extra discipline needed, higher time management needed? you bet! sometimes i wonder, : "..Ruth, why you are forever runing here and there , doing so many things?" Things seems to pick up its speed alittle, which i'm expecting it to be. For the 1st half of the year, i feel as thou i'm like the Aaron where God instructed him to carry the ark and wait at the river bank. I waited and waited, at the same time God seems distance. Nothing happen, nothing to do, simply wait. In the midst of waiting, i've got to make sure the fundamentals are in place. ( not exactly an enjoyable position to be )

Evaluating Jan till now, alot of things are uncertain, especially when it comes to ministry. Thou the speed is picking up, yet i'm not sure if i can make it. Coz i cant make it alone. Success cant never be attained alone. Achievements in life are shared. Mayb some made a mark by their own effort , "one man / woman show". At least not for me. I can be where i am becoz there's always ppl who make me look good. I'm able to lead the congregation in worship becoz the musicians supported me. I'm able to hold the stage during powerhse, becoz the teachers below encouraged me. I'm able to finish well with a honors degree becoz of the prayers support. Hence, its the same also 4 ministry. Mayb i should stop looking back and run my race but yet, as a leader, i need to be senstitive to the people under my care. I cant possibility make them run if they are physically handicapped. If i do so, i'll be worsening their condition. Well, mayb its another aspect of leardership that i got to learn. * Shrugs* or mayb there's just so few people who are like-minded with a singleness of heart to move with.

I was reading the bk of Cor. And 1 particular verse caught my attention. "...gift and call of God are irrevocable..." well, tally with the verse: God's word will not return unto him void. Gift or call given by God will definitely have to be fulfilled. I'm comforted to know that God's call for individuals and corporately as a church will be fulfilled. And yet, it brings out the seriousness of the call and gifting that we possess. Gift and call comes with responsibilities. Well, then i never want to find out my calling and gifting; then i wont have the responsibilites to take care of them. Haha.... But, i also know that i wont be happy living my life without knowiing the teasures that God had prepared for me. I still want to be on the same page with God and hit the bull's eye with him. I guess my focal pt for myself is to be where God wants me to be and do what i needed to do as my God had instructed me.

So far so Gooooood?

2005-12-17T10:01:00.000+08:00

5 days at Rafflesplace, only get to explore places ard my office. Lunch hr is scary, so is the going home or leaving Rafflesplace at 6pm. Lunch have been sandwiches or easy pack stuffs,..think i'm growing thinner. haha. I'm like stuck in my own quiet room in the end end of the office (might be quiet and cozy but then....its my battle grd. ha ha) only managed to say "Hi", "Bye" to the ppl in the office. Mostly are the other property agents and the support staffs such as the HR manager, Office manager or Admin staffs. I think i've protrayed as an anti-social person or someone that is kept in the small room. Aiz~~

Well, i've got lots of things to do. 1st of all, i'm aint no property expert. So without knowledge of the operation, i need to like help with the admin, esp the filing. Oooo its super headache. Serious! I'm like clearing this, clearing that...but dunno why need to clear. its like huh? Wad's this,....Huh? wad's that. Receipts given to me, wad am i suppose to do? File where huh? Its jus lots of questions in my head. Thou employed as a PA but i need to get pass the admin 1st b4 i can full get my gear on. :) i can understand that fully. How to be a good PA to my boss if i know nuts of the operation. I guess this is the expectation i have of myself. Dunno if i'm setting unrealistic expectation or notz. My boss will be flying off soon. If i dun pick up many things fast b4 he leaves, it'll be very hard to flow or function. But, on the other hand, i'm thinking if i'm being too efficient. I dunno... dun like to be taken advantage i guess. I think i do hav the capability to handle stuffs but pls dun jus conveniently pass on to me coz i can handle. I never like the word: convenient! :D

I must really say that God's watching over me in this 1st job! Favour with my boss...i can communicate without having to draw the line but yet ofcoz must be with respect. :) I believe its his personality. He's serious in his job but yet able to motivate and enhance the team spirit. He's one that draws crowd. ha ha...noisy when he's ard. I'll be super bz also when he is ard. Well, one of the part-timers made this comment: High-class Ah Beng! LOLz...how true? Hee hee. People in the team is very hardworking...seems like always on the go but when they party..they really party. Work-hard, play-hard culture eh. Sounds cool. ;) Well, invited to my boss's hse for a Xmas party tmr coz he wont be celebrating Xmas in Singapore.. tell you guys more abt it next time. hee hee..choaz ;)

Grinning from Ear 2 Ear

2005-12-09T16:18:00.000+08:00

Hey Hey Hey people,
I've got good news to share. Finally, the hunting and searching exercise had come to an end. Phew! Its not easy man to have been hunting and searching. It can get real discouraged and super duper tired. Yupz....i've got a JOB!!!! Whoa Hoo!! I'm really thankful to God for providing this job offer. I think it's like the best that God had provided. Its amazing how this job offer came about.

Well, during the P6 chalet, i acutally got a call for interview for a position as Management Trainee. It a position that i've been looking into and would like to explore as it allows me to be put into many departments in the company and find out what's i'm good in. However, i turned down the interview. That's like so bold of me to do so. Coz i didnt hav any formal clothings with me and requires me to travel all the way home from the Chalet. Eh...its a long long long journey leh!

Seriously, i felt so stupid and dumb for indirectly rejecting the interview. It sort of bothers me alittle and i try to distract myself by voluntering to setup the fire for bbq with the guys. Ha ha. Well it did worked for awhile but then, it still bothers me. So its a short term comfort only. Sigh...guess i felt so lost and wonder if i'll ever get a job. Its as thou the water is boiling and you dun know then it will reach its boiling pt and kill you. Haz...scary? mayb over here not so but when you are experiencing it.. it can be. I can understand how those who had been retrenched. Its no Joke and if you are the sole bread winner.. its worse. I remember tell someone..."thou i'm working part-time but i cant even lighten the financial burden on my mum." Its been really a trying period. However, having secured a job now; the next trying phase will be adjusting to working environment and providing the support that my boss requires. ( Oh yah by the way, i'm employed as a Personal Assistant ;-) ) So, having rejected this job offer, i went back to my routine la. And i dunno why i started to look out and apply for position as Personal Assistant. I was acutally looking for some service apartment thingy la. Ha ha..who knows, i might have the opportunity to run the whole service apartment. Anyway, the interview is really freaky. Coz all happen so fast in the wk. I got a call on Monday (1st interview) and the interviewer is my BOSS (if i'm going to be employed..i only get to know it like towards the end of the interview la. Oooooo) On Wednessday, i got a call again and this time round its for 2nd interview. And my boss was saying, try to impress him so as 2 secure a job. Ha ha..sound so funny coz i really dunno how to impress people. Oh wells... the 2nd interview is acutally much more lighter. haha..interesting leh.. its not what i expected. :)

Having going to start a new phase of my life very soon--> entering into the work force, i'm having butterfiles in my stomach but yet feeling the challenge. Wonder if i'll be able to survive the expectations & committment. Hmmmmm ...well, reminded me of the 1st sem of the degree program that i embarked on. I was so stressed till i can't eat. Man, i hope this time round will not be that bad. Okies...so much of the job hunting story. Will update you guys again :-) Chaoz

i in Him and He in Me

2005-11-24T18:11:00.000+08:00

Oh man, at the rate of me working on the computer, i wonder if my degree will go up. :( Erk... dun like that thot. Hmph!! Well, this wk had been a pleasent wk. Had a run with Quek and Alaster. Its like so sad la. Went all the way to Bt Gombak and the stadium is restricted for training for the SEA games. Feel so cheated la. Aiyah...i shd had jus have my run ard my hse. But then atleast gotta run with Quek and Alaster. Hee hee. Did enjoyed the run thou. I believe i'm being pushed to rush alittle faster, especially running with guys. Heee heee. My thighs are aching.Ooooo but its a good thing.. :)

So i'm excited for worship leading. Dunno why but i guess its one of those times where you have the inspiration to lead worship. :) Hmmm probably my experience in worship leading in powerhse last sunday did play a part. I didnt have time to prepare the songs inadvance. Thk God that Aunite Angel was there to take 2 dance for the worship and all i need was to focus on bringing the Children to worship God in a intimate manner. So i was at the photocopier and my mind goes: "what songs should i lead?" I flip thru the files of songs that powerhse has and i jus pick them when i saw them. Its strange. I didnt hear any audio voice that says: "PICK THIS SONG." ( i think i'll freak out if i did..haha) Guess what? My songs simply linked with the powerpt for that service. "Jesus is the true vine". Man... i really speechless. Another experience to be recorded in my faith ride with God.

I remembered i once wrote this in my journal as i thot abt the verse : "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." NIV

My Thots:
IF- we need to choose to remain in God. It requires our effort to make a point to remain in God.
I in him and he in ME - Become 1, synchronize with God.
Bear much fruit- Hmmm its fruit and not fruits. And it brought to my remebrace of 9 fruit of
the spirit. Singular--> Fruit.
I guess that would also mean that we will have the character of Christ in us when we began to serve or interact and influence the people around us.
So if we are not bearing fruit, does that means that we are not remaining in God? Does that also means that we are no longer walking close to God? Mayb i shd not put it as no longer walking close with God but rather we are not walking in the same frequency or at the same page with God.

Well, i've attended a Bible study on the secret of the vine and thru that i got to know that the vinedresser prunes the branches of the vine, dust off the dirt of the grapes or lift up the branches so that the grapes produce from his vineyard will be of the same quality each time its delievered to his customer. It may seems very logical in what a vinedresser will do to his crops. But let's pause for a moment and think about such procedures are being applied into our lives.

1st of all i can think of pain and discomfort. Imagine you are so comfortable at a place and then ppl wanna you to move somewhere. Well it always happen during the leaders' meeting when we are to break into our small grps for discussion huh... hor Germz. Hahahah. I'll feel pain becoz it would mean that i need to do somethings that i dun like to do. For example, my faith ride. God is teaching me new things and there are risk involved in it. hahaah. So it would also means that i need to open myself to God before He can do that transformation work in my life. In the process of doing that, I'm allowing God to make certain "amendment" in my life. So it some sort of suffering and pain is inevitable.

Derek Prince mentioned : 30 + 60 can never add up to 100. I believe every1's very familar with the bearing of fruit in 30 fold, 60 fold, 100fold. So, which one do u want to be? 100 fold..ofcoz? Ha ha. Its God's desire too for us to reach 100 fold. But there's a catch to it. "If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." We must choose to remain in him and allow him to do that transformation work in us before we can reach that 100 fold. Its not going to be easy my friends. Coz i too many a times struggle with it. But if we will to look towards God and knowing that he is doing a work in us, and having the endpt as an encouragement. I know that we can reach it with God's help. So let's persevere in what God is doing in our life and remain in Him so that we can be 1 with Him. ;)

Pictures from my trip to PeRtH...

2005-11-13T00:59:00.000+08:00

Amazed

2005-11-12T22:39:00.000+08:00

Hey frenz, thanks for the compliment of the new outlook. Thks to Stacy la. I'm not good in those codes man. Haha.. they will jus drown me. Well, i jus thot of having a change. Haha. Was browsing thru some of the blogskin online. And i'm caught by the white daisy. Oooooo one of the flowers that i kinda fall in love with. Haha. But i think the irony is that i decided on this blogskin without realising the verse below. Hee hee :D

Tueday i went down for the ministry nite. Guess wad? Rusty Russell (dunno if i spell his name correctly :( ) He spoke a word to my life. * Its not that you do not have faith but your faith is sort of damaged. You are asking God, is this really what you want me to do? ....to be really sure before you step out again. * Hmmmz i dun understand the term he used, as in damaged faith. How is faith being damaged? Its either you have faith or unbelieve. Mayb i need to pray...GOD help my unbelieve. Hahah. I wonder. The strange thing is that my spirit kinda identifies with it. I guess its more of the part when he mentioned abt hearing from God correctly, making real sure before i step out again. :) Perphas these few months got so many things that happened and my faith is kinda tested.

I was just mentioning to Auntie Eva that it seems as thou my journey of faith is kinda different. How shd i put it? Eh.... it no longer the manner of hearing clearly what he wants me to do or which direction to take but to step out 1st then He direct me from there. Its as thou the priest gotta stand at the bank of the sea before the sea is parted. And its not immediately but surely it will. This is a whole new experience for me altogether. Mayb God is moving me to another level of faith. *shrugs* I'm so used to hearing b4 moving. haha. Seeing another dimension of God huh! Well, i'm in the process of learning something from God. And the irony of this new blogskin is the verse.

I'm so blessed by this verse. * He made everything beautiful in His time* Thou many times i've stepped out and being 'hit' hard and the testing of my faith; i'm assured that he will make all things beautiful in His time. I may not see it now as in the labour of my fruit but i'm sure all that's put in will grow in God's timing. And also the lyrics from ....thou we sow in TEARS, we will reap in JOY! :)

This verse gives me the strength again and to also 'master' the new faith ride with God! Thank You Jesus! Love You Lots...Mucks ;)

Wad to Blog??

2005-11-06T22:35:00.000+08:00

Yes yes yes... i know that i need to update my blog. ( i can imagine many heads nodding in agreement..hahaha) Well, it just seems like nothing to blog for the past weeks. Not that life stays stagnant but rather just dunno what to share here. I guess, i'm not one that blog abt what went on during the week and blog according to the happenings of the days.

Hmmm so how should i begin? Er.. ok here it goes. Everyday i'll wake up, buy newspaper, flip through the recruitment pages, send out resume if there is and wait for calls. Sounds sian? Aiz.. its really trains me to be patient and wait for jobs man. Its not a easy task altogether. Last Sat, flip thru the newspaper but got no application to send out. Sigh! I feel as thou i'm on thin ice, the pressure is on and i'm stuck in the situation. Was sharing with Germaine and John about it during the leaders' meeting today. I dont like to be in such situations man....causes me to be so insecure. I can only go back to God again and hold fast to His promises.

Indirectly, my character is mould la. Especially on patience man. Aiyoz... i can be really impatient and like to get things done fast. Maybe a workaholic? I dunno. I guess so la. Getting things accomplished is rather satisfying la. I dun like to put it on pending. Its as thou you have something that's not settled and its at the back of your mind. Emotionally, its very tiring for me la. Haha.. mayb that's why clearing up things or issues are easier for me. Strange la.. i find myself always approaching people to clear up issues la. Its like i gotta go to one brother and ask if i'm too harsh in the way i answer him...bleah bleah bleah. Then it will link to humility too..

I'm not complaining that i always have to be the one to approach ppl 1st in settling stuffs (can be in many areas la.. like commitment, conflicts....etc) jus amazed that i'm making the move most of the time. Too proactive liaoz. Ha ha. Proactiveness is good but over doing it is harmful i guess. Another area i need to learn. Rem wad my ah kong tells me : "huo dao lao xue dao lao" (in short...we can never stop learning... learn as you mature)

What will i do?

2005-10-17T12:36:00.000+08:00

hELLo People, I'm back in blogging again. Well, i know that many had asked me to update. Ok here it goes:

1) Perth
I've truly enjoyed myself during the trip. Really wished that i can have a longer break in Perth. The weather, people, place are just so nice. Hmmm strange i really wish to have a extended break. Ha ha. Its kinda hard for me to explain why i fall in love with those places that we had visited. Maybe pictures will tell them all. Ha ha. But then i guess i'm too lazy to post it here. So those interested can ask me for view of the pic once its developed. :) Probably the pic should be done by next wk.

2) Worship Leading
This is one of the times where i really dont know how to lead or what to lead. Sigh... on top of that, my voice is like fading. I guess i managed to pull thru. The worship atmosphere on Sunday is rather different from those that i saw or felt from the times that i led worship. My very heart cry for each worship leading is that i've brought the people closer to God and God is able to minister to His people and you can see the change in the people. But yesterday is not the case. I cant really say that its an awesome worship experienced that the congregation had with the Lord. Maybe its another experience of worship leading with God.

3) Job Application
I still yet to be employed. Hahaha Been going for interviews but not sure how is it. Many tells me that its pretty normal for people to be waiting for months before one gets employed! *shrugs* Do really need job urgent.. no income. *Sob sob* I remebered telling God, its the end of the week. I'm not sure how to pass next week. There're expenses to be taken care of, such as transport, hair cut, makan..etc. Cant really contribute to financing the family expenses but only my own. But i'm really amazed by how the money came. I'm like sponsered for my hair cut, 50 bucks to last me for this wk. Then when i reached home, saw a note written by Ivan and some cash is placed under that note. Both bros chipped in for my pocket money. Aiz.. just so weird to get pocket money from my Bros but i am really thankful for it. I guess its God way of provision thru His children.

4) Faith
Through all that's mentioned, my faith is stretched. It is still stretching. For example, worship leading and finance. Smith Wrigglesworth mentioned : Fear looks but Faith Jumps. I only have God to rely on. The pressure is on and its tempting to takes things into our own hands, what decision will i make?

Up Up Down Down. So its Up or Down?

2005-09-23T23:37:00.000+08:00

Codes such as mountain top experiences (with zeal and passion) and valley low (dry and stagnant) experiences in our walk with God are so familiar. Personally i dont think mountain-top and valley-low experiences applies to our walk with God.

Picture with me: you are running or jogging with paths that consist of up-slopes and down-slopes. I was jogging with Ben and its really tuff each time i encounter an up-slope..coz it requires more effort and energy to make it thru. As i was concentrating on my jog, Ben came beside me and said: " lean forward and you will find it must easier to run up the slope!" True enough, as i lean forward, nearer towards the path, i make it with less effort.

As i ponder over it, i believe walking with God consist of seasons and is never an easy path. There are times where we simply feel that God is so far away and there are also times where you felt the zeal, passion and desire to draw so close into His presence. However, these all mostly our emotions. Walking with God and sustaining a relationship based on feelings will not enable us to build lasting and solid foundations of our walk with God or our relationship with Him. The tendancy for many is to withdraw when the feeling of restless, dryness or aimless develops as the relationship matures.

Many piece mountain-top experiences and valley-low experiences with dry seasons and non-dry seasons. But if we grow from glory to glory then i think the picture of our walk with God should be one that's many up-slops and many down-slopes, such that it will join up and made up of afew mountains. e.g /\/\/\/\ If u will to put this picture of the mountains that i jus drew, it will be that each mountain top is a pt (x) and linking all the pt (x) together should give us a linear line. ( Like maths: linear line drawn across x-axis and y-axis)

Whether we are on the up-slope or the down-slope, one thing never changes is that God is with us. Just like Ben says, lean forward and u will find it easier to run up the slope. Over here, i see that there's a condition: we must make the effort to lean forward. I must say that its the hardest thing to do, esp when u are super tired. But as i jogged over and over again with the up-slopes and down-slopes, it gets eaiser each time i meet the challenge.

Therefore, the principles never change. We have to make it a habit to lean forward and press on into what we are facing or leaning forward more towards God. The best thing is that God is with us no matter its up or down. The most important thing is that thru the ups and downs, we will grow from glory to glory. After we had reached the 1st mountain top, we will go on to the next highest mountain top....and so on. This would mean that our relationship with God had taken another level up. Thus then can we say that we had grown from glory to glory, strength to strength. It shd be a progression. Of coz, its the 'ideal' case? Ha ha.. but i believe we can really achieve it coz Jesus come to die for us so that God and Man can be restored! The Bible says no one goes to the Father besides thru me(Jesus). Jesus is the door for us to reach God. :)

When we began to press in and lean forward more to God, we will find that going up the slopes of life much easier. Its a conscience effort that we need to always put in where we draw much more closer. A decision to make as to praise Him even when we dont feel like it, to read His word, to worship Him and to pray. Its part and parcel of breaking thru into something that God desire for us. We want breakthrus? We gotta press on and persevere. (these are action words?)

One thing that we can take comfort is that we have God who will walk with us thru the ups and downs. Well, try it out. Seek Him, praise Him, worship Him, read His Word and pray purposefully or with a heart that wants to lean close towards God. U might experience a difference in your times spend with God ;-)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just a little update, i'll be away from 29th Sep till 8th Oct. Take a break that i really needed and is looking forward to it. :) Perth, here i come. Ha ha. Something had touched my heart this wk! Ivan came home to put his stuff b4 going down to Changi for check-up. We were catching up with each other. Have not talked to him since he booked in on monday. So, casually mentioned abt the trip and he passed me some money for the trip. I'm speechless. How much can a NS man earn? He simply pull out the dollar notes from his wallet, pass them to me and says:" U are going overseas. Its better to have more money with you." What a brother i had! Really! 1st time in my life, my brother passed me money man. Ha ha. But i guess the level of relating to each other changes as we matures and handles more things with commitments going up too. Just feel so thankful. :) So ppl, choaz..will update again when i'm back. Meantime, those facing examz soon, Jia you Jia you okies. Holidays are coming. So look 4ward to that!! ;-)

Blow the Candles

2005-09-09T00:30:00.000+08:00

This week had been a makan wk. Feel like a pig.. eat and eat with no exercise. Oh man so unhealthy la. But then.. the weather had been so freaky lo. Cant get morning jogs done :( But so far, its been a great wk. Well Ivan's POP (passing out parade) is on my BIRTHDAY. ..Sigh.. went to tekong on my Birthday. Wad a place to spend for birthday but i know that it will mean lots to Ivan for my presence there. I got the honor to put on the cap for him. Wow.. the emotions are really different. I know its some symbolizm la. Well Ivan's company has got such high team spirit and they really exhibit the togetherness. Wow, how awesome will that be if such team spirit is exhibited in leadership. Since its Birthday wk, below are some appreciation:

1) The Young Ones: thks Cell! 1st to celebrate advance b'day for me and suppose to b surprise.. but .. ha ha. Its alrite la.. its the thot that counts. Thks Bro for the effort to put it all together..appreciated it lots, Warren for buying and wrappin the present ( i think so la.. since you are the one that pass me the present. Hey.. you've got nice handwritting.. interms of the chinese characters. Haha)

2) SMSers, Bloggy tAgGeRs, EmAiLeR, sLoW mAiL: Lynette, Charis, Eunice, Kai, Bro, pst Jon n Mich, Fel, Germz, Ivan Tan, Auntie Angel, David, Elizabeth, Tabbi, Xiao Yan, Jeremy, Esther & Ian, Rev Liew--> at the moment that's all i can rem. Haha.. sorry if i've missed anyone out. Just let me know k. Thks for all the bday msg and also the effort of remembering my bday. Haha. It had made a difference!

3) MSN SeNdErS: Stacy--> on the dot in textin MSN b'day msg.. so still so bored notz? Sorry ah i've got nothing for u to kill boredom. Ha ha

Edmund--> Belated is better than never. Ha ha. no need to say : so "kiam pa"...jus rem dun let history repeat itself next yr la. *jus pullin ur leg* *winks*

4) cAlLeRs: Alaster--> sorry dude, u r not the 1st in Q to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Ha ha. A joker and also true fren to have crossed my path. Thks for bring in those crappy moments. Ha ha. Oh ya... (know you will love this)... coz its Alaster Koh. LoLz

Eva, Pris, Peter and Je--> Pleasant surprise to rec a call with individual b'day wishes. I guess 1st time to had said so many thks in one call. Ha ha. Who knows, if i'm overseas..willl be longing for such call eh... hahah hINt hInT *winks*

5) Makan tReAts: Gary--> Lunch is awesome! Thks for takin time out and cheer me up with so any things that are happening. Indeed as promised.. this yr's b'day is different. At least u rem. So PDA reminded u? jus pullin ur leg. Haha. Also thks for being such encourager and never fails to spur me on in the works of God!

Ting--> Hey gal, guess its worth mentioning again here. Ha ha. Those xiao xiao xin yi are really heartwarming la, esp those ai xin bing gan! Thks for being there..really! It may seems small to u but it makes the whole lot of difference. And oooo marche @ orchard is definitely so much nicer.. satisfy my craving liaoz.. haha *winks*

Maggie--> Finally get to Holland V. Jus a road but i think will be more happenin for those who drinks. Hmmmz...a place with Jazz music will be perfect man. Look for some better place for chillin out. Yeah! :) A Friendship that lasted since poly days!! Still goin on eh? ha ha. Ya gal... back to sch soon ah. Jia you Jia you!

Paul & Ivan--> one of the few moments that we had dinner at such late hrs. Its dinner cum supper manx. Haha... so shiok to hav someone drive me ard... sorry la.. make u guys go all the way to upper thomson then the shop not open. We'll go another time yeah? This yr's bday is really diff. Spending actual day in Tekong and makan dinner then supper at Jalan Kayu. Hee hee... cooL!

Mummy--> had never doubted ur love, care and concern man! Lunch is gd.. but so sad that i have to give chillin out at coffee bean a miss la. Haha.. another feast up with Auntie Angel, Uncle Fred and God pa eh. Heehehe. Thkx for mentoring me this far!

Mum--> Thkx for stayin so strong for the family. Thou Dad's no longer ard but i guess need not worry. God has really seen us thru so much! :) Thks for the Ang Bao... came at the rite time man.. been real broke. Ha ha.

Dad--> no longer ard physically but i know he will definitely delighted to see me grown another yr. Hee hee. Guess the only regratting issue will be witnessing my graduation. But what ever it will be, i'm praying that i'll do him proud in my education path, Coz he had really invested so much in me for education! *winks*

~The End~

Evidence

2005-09-04T23:07:00.000+08:00

The clouds are turning darker and in splits seconds, showers of blessing starts to pour. Its real heavy sia. I was preparing to go out and meet Rachel Lim @ Sengkang for lunch and who knows, its pouring outside. Burrr.. its pretty COLD. You can imagin how heavy the rain was. Finally, its time to go. If not i'll be late for my lunch appointment. (on top of that, i'm super hungry.... haha) Took the lift down, ready to open up my umbrella and who knows ..... the rain stop. I'm puzzled! But make my way to the station with a smile on my face and really felt God knows what's upon my heart. Its as thou a little gal smiling away in knowing that all things are well taken care of. Happliy go about her routine...skippin away and hummin her favourite tune.

totootoototoo Khatib. I gotta get down at this station to transfer to bus no 965 that will bring me to Sengkang. Cross the overhead bridge and ti ti ti tititititiit..... the rain starts pouring again. Oh man.. its such a freaky weather la. But thk God had shelter all the way to the bus-stop so not wet at all and waited patiently for the bus. I made a phone call and standby my umbrella so that i can board the bus with it. Shield myself from the rain... and in minitues, the bus came and u know wad? Tthe rain stopped and i board the bus without needing the umbrella. So cool rite... but the ma fan thing is that i kept taking out and keeping the umbrella. The other passengers must be thinking this gal is like so DUH la. haha but who cares.. wont get wet can liaoz. So there goes the bus, travelling towards Sengkang. Down towards Yishun, passed by Yio Chu Kang road and hit SLE/CTE..and then.. it rains again.. oh man. What a day.. witnessing the rain comes and goes.

Hmmm what's the pt am i driving at in relating to u an incident? I must say thk you for being so patience with me in reading on. :) I'm jus so overwhelm by what God had done for me in jus a 40mins travelling time from my place to Sengkang. I really dont like to travel when it rains. Its like getting wet after you've put in the effort to get dressed up and all ready for a time of fun and chill out with frenz. It jus simply spoil the mood. But jus a silent whisper to God.... Can you hold the rain, Daddy? God really did fulfill it. Its not once but twice. At the same time when i'm on the bus, the rain is pouring so heavily that the vision is kinda blurr on the road. But i can be relaxing and is sheltered from the wind and the rain. I felt as thou i've again learnt something. A real life object lesson with God. God is really interested in every small details of my life. A simple whisper like this never fails to catch his attention and listen to what his child is crying out. Thou it mayb soft but its loud enough for Daddy to turn and give his total concentration to his child.

Just this week, i feel so far away from God. Its as thou God is so unreachable. *shrugs* I dont know why but many people had used this phrase: "when we feel far away from God, guess who had moved?" Have i moved away from God? Maybe. But as i go thru this object lesson, God had again reassured me that He is always here with me. He is so real in my daily routine. I cant help it but declare that God exist and is so evident in my life. I sense that He is telling me: I am here my child. Dont doubt! And as the bus traveled thru the heavy rain, God again dropped something in my heart. He sheltered me from the storm. When I'm in Him, I can really relax and enjoy the ride with him in the storm. Tears start to fill my eyes. I can explain how grateful and privilage i am to be called his daughter. A Father that had never fails to keep me save in his arms. And i'm reminded of the lyrics of the song: my God shall supply all my needs according to his riches in glory. He will give his angels charged over me. Jehovah Jireh cares for me.

Indeed, my God shall supply all my needs. He is more than enough and all faithful in seasons of my life. All i need is Him becoz He makes me whole!

So favored!

2005-08-29T23:13:00.000+08:00

Woke up super early today and get ready for presentation of the project that i did on corporate culture. I guess i'm too tired or rather sick to feel nervous . I fell sick after my dad passed on. Cough cough..hello....(my voice fades... oh no! i'm loosing my voice!) Well, lots of thots regarding my dad's death but one thing i really rejoice is learning upon my dad's salvation. I'm assured that i'll see him again :) I think this really give me the strength to face the reality that my dad is no longer ard and show that God's in control of all things. He sure will work things out in his way and his timing. Yearning to witness my dad's salvation had been upon my heart and its as thou a promise that God had fulfilled. So frenz who are still praying for ur loved ones' salvation, take heart! Its our responsibility to pray but its God who will bring it to pass in the manner tht's pre-planned. :)

Well, i wanna declare God's favor today during the presentation. I did up 12 slides but only the conclusion is being targeted. Haha..some may say.. aiz, waste the effort in developing those slides. But for me, its really phew..coz i kinda have difficulty in explaining one of the slides which is in the steps for culture management. Haha..so its a blessing. I'm not sure how i fare but i guess i'm able to ans the qnz pleasantly. :) Glad that all things when well with that sexy voice of mine.. hahaha I've never doubt God's favour in my life coz by the fact that i can serve him in this manner, at this level of commitment is already a miracle. I must say that juggling with studies and ministry is not easy and now having to manage the family commitment...ooooo i'm not sure if i can live up to it but i'm trusting God to bring the right job at the right time.

If i'll to tell u that i'm not gang chiong for job , i'll be bluffing u. But its in this situation that i need to trust God even more. Again, back to the verse matt 6:33. Waiting for another opportunity to praise God and magnify his greatness and faithfulness to me in big and small areas of my life! :)

Details

2005-08-20T13:31:00.000+08:00

Hey frenz,
My dad had heart attack yesterday and passed away yesterday morning at about 0530am. There will be wake services starting tonight till monday night, 8pm. Tuesday will be the funeral. Location will be at my hse, void deck: 310 Canberra Rd.

I know that many are concerned for me. I'm coping it ok. Yah.. physically wise i'm very tired..lots of stuffs to run. Yah...other than that, managing it well. So guys and gals (ofcoz)... need not worry for me. Your concern and love had make a difference!! See all of you soonz. God bless :)

Say bye bye to student life

2005-08-14T22:48:00.000+08:00

Student life is ending real soon. By tmr after i've handed my final year project, self declared: graduated...Yeah! Ha ha. So must had given ppl the impression that i'm super free eh. Ha ha. Will be shaking leg till i find a job :) hint hint..anyone wanna employ me? haha Meanwhile, got the week ahead planned:

Monday: Down to Eunos (super far la but that's MDIS HQ)
Lunch @ Changi Airport. Woooo

Tuesday: Down to Singapore Post, Paya Lebar
Got an interview at 2pm.

Wednessday: Ubin.... been a long time since i've make a trip there. (pending)

Thursday: Go for a swim
Evening, Musician Practice.
Leading this coming sunday. Gotta PRAY real hard tht Ed's not called back 2 camp.

Friday: Life Group.

Saturday: Meeting Pris for lunch then head for the event!

Sunday: Usual - Church
Powerhse dance practice and worship practice for CMD sunday

Wow... its packed man. Definitely gonna be a fulfilling wk ahead! Haha. Just so excited for CMD sunday. Tabbi is so concern about who's leading worship for CMD sunday when she saw the bulletin that Uncle Cheng Wah is the worship leader. Ha ha. Well, i'm really praying that God's agenda is fulfilled for every services that we have. I really cant wait to jump into his presence. Especially liked what Uncle Cheong Hock said:"connect with God!" :) Ok gotta go and spend some time with God. Chaos ppl. Take care :)

Amazing

2005-08-13T01:22:00.000+08:00

You are amazing, forever saving
Captured by the power of Your love
Jesus i worship you

I am speechless before You
I am nothing without You
I adore You my Lord, my God, my Saving Grace

Jesus, all i live to do
Is to love You my God
I stand amazed captured by Your grace
Let me sing Your praise
And stand in awe of You
I stand in awe of You

Disappointment: many more moments with you ahead!

2005-08-12T01:13:00.000+08:00

Disappointment. What a close encounter with it for these past wks. Online dictionary give the definition of disappointment as such: a feeling of dissatisfaction that results when your expectations are not realized. But i got to protest to this definition. Ha ha. Sound interesting? Disappointment is not really dissatisfaction that results when your expectations are not realized. Its only half of what i've been battling with for these past wks. Well, you can say that i'm a person that has got really high expectation. I really mean it.. High expectation!

I dont know what God wants me to learn from the close encounter with disappointment but i do feel the heartache when Jesus looks at his 12 disciples. I'm really feeling pain. *shrugs* Maybe i was feeling the pain of being betrayed. Many a times i really got to stand in awe of how did Jesus handle his betrayal. Its someone that he has poured his heart, soul and mind into mentoring and discipling him. Oh mine! And at the end of the day, he chooses to betray Jesus. It really shows me the picture of how gracious our Lord is and how big is His heart!

Humanly speaking, i really cant make it. I'm so far behind towards being like Christ in this area. I mean who likes to be betrayed? Its really yuckie. But i believe God is enlarging my heart and stretching it. Its really painful, Daddy! My heart gotta be stretched so that i could love people more, reached out to more people, going down to the level where they are. I guess its part and parcel of ministry and life too (whether its church or the society). More will come..this is only the tip of what i'll be experiencing as i grow and mature.

I could still remember the very 1st great disappointment. I had a close gal fren where we hang out a lot, doing lots of crazy stuffs together. I sort of help her out in her walk with the Lord. Her faith in the Lord had been kinda like a yo-yo ball. There are times when she's really high up and there are times where she gets really low and many doubts surfaced...doubts of God in her life. Finally, 1 big situation arises and hit her hard. It got into many things such as leadership..etc. And she "gave" up her faith. (backsliding) i no longer see her walking with God..as for now, i'm not sure how is she doing.

I felt like a mother hen loosing one of her chicks. I've got no idea why such an illustration here but its wad i felt at that moment. I feel sad coz i saw the potential that she has and how she can be used by God if only she allowed God to make her path straight. After spending so much time in helping her to pick up her faith, praying together with her..etc. It all amounts to the end result: she no longer walks with God and left church. Maybe she does wants to draw near to God again but dont know how to. *shrugs* I've not contacted her since the day she left.

People come, people go. That's LIFE! I've gotta keep my focus on God again. As long as i did my part where God had put me and crosses anyone's path for this season, i've accounted towards what God wants me to do. But yet part of me would really want to witness people grow, matures and ultimately become the man or woman that God had his blueprint of them before they are formed in their mothers' womb. I believe i'll encounter lots of heartache, pain, disappointment, joy, compassion, encouragement..etc. Watching and being there for someone in their growing and learning curve its a awesome thing to do with such great attachment of positve and negative stories.

Nothing is absolute, besides the promises of God. I've sort of adopted this phrase for myself. It helps me to be out of my comfort zone, allows changes to come into my life style and always ready for paradigm shfit. This contributes to not putting God in a box ! :) The Lord gives and he takes away. I'll still choose to bless his name and lift up my praises to him. Becoz his love for me is never ending and his presence is ever ready to flood me. And when i whisper: Daddy, where are you? He always answer: Here i am, child. I'm always here with you.

Back from the CAVE

2005-07-23T02:26:00.000+08:00

Hi Friends,

i'm back to blogging again. Well, examz are over and i'm left with my final year project. I guess the progress for the project is pretty ok. (that's according to me..hee hee) Was talking to my cousins and friends and looks like after i'm done with this course, i'm FREE but yet, bz in the month of aug. Many things are like in the queue. Ha ha..one thing after another. Oh... i yearn for a break in-between b4 the many things flood in & requires my attention. :)

sigh, there's jus so many things to blog but i jus dunno where to start. (i know i've mentioned this a number of times .... hee hee) Mayb let's start with something to do with sports. Well, i jog and swim so, many a times, i got something from God while exercising. Interesting eh? I managed to push thru the 4th round in the usual where i have my runs. Wooo Hoooo...its such an accomplishment for me. Ha ha i never thot that i'm capable in doing so! Each time when i starts my jog, the 1st round is always the building up the next 2 or 3 rounds. Its liken of the warming-up of the photocopier machine. This 1st round is somehow important as in if i'm able to get pass this round, the 2nd or 3rd rounds will have got no problem.

I think probably its only me that gets such feeling when i go for my runs. Mayb some sports person may enlighten me if they feel that way too. Ha ha. But this makes me realise and understand how my body works too. So its not that bad after all. Well, to put it simply, 1st round of my run is the preparation for the coming rounds that i'm going to run. In my life, there are specific seasons that God had really set me aside for preparation. Many had said that those who are called by God, He prepares them or He will enable them. Therefore, to me, desire to see things move is simply not the same as reaching the endpt with God. Expecting is not enough; it gotta move you to attempting!

When we desire or are passionate about something that i believe God has placed in our heart (eveyone of us has got a different heartbeat), we will go that extra mile with God. I used to be very scared and afraid whenever God "wants" me to do something. I dare to dream and expect great things but i'm afraid to attempt great things with God. Until one of the worship service where the song: worthy is the lamb is being sung and God asked me: am i not worthy for you to attempt great things with me? What need to be done is already done. The path is already painted for you and i simply need you to walk the path with me.

Oh mine, i've never see it in this manner. In a way, when God place a passion in you, you go on an adventure of exposure with Him. And many a times, we are stuck at the point that we are like thinking of what God requires from me so as to step out and attempting things with God. Or we are so filled with passion and missed out the preparation and disciplining factors. Well, in whichever case, it takes a willing, obedience, and contrite heart to let God review the adventure bit by bit in our life. Anyway, right from the beginning, its not abt YOU! ( ha ha…borrowing from Rick Warren )

God can always pick another person to go on this adventure with Him. As I began to attempt great things with Him, He’s faithfulness always abounds in me. He had never failed me this far but many times, my faith is being stretched! But that’s how my faith grows too. Therefore, I take on the perspective on how can I please my Father’s heart best than looking at myself on how can I do best. When God give an invitation, I guess my 1^st reply wont be God, wait. I cant make it. But rather, God you called, I’ll take it. Coz I know that I’m going to reach it together with you. I cant make it on my own but with you, I’m sure you will carry me thru! He really prepares my heart. Its like he gave me the impression or stiring and who knows the next moment, opportunities came knocking at the door.

I’m beginning to enjoying running this race of mine, enjoying the difficult times in pushing through with God, enjoying the times when I hit the target with God. Enjoyment is very important becoz if we say that our life is a life of worship then, we need to enjoy God in every aspect. I believe God never wants you to be miserable in giving you an invitation to attempt great things with him but to enjoy the ride with Him. I remember telling someone that when I take on a new “project” with God its liken of God holding on to my personal sticker bk and cant wait to reward me with those fascinating stickers. And at the end of the day, I’ve have a sticker bk that is filled with stickers that will tell of the adventure that I had with God himself. Isnt that amazing?

This is really makes me run my heart out for the involvement that I commit myself to but most importantly its my commitment to God. Come what may, I’m gonna run!

Where true LOVE is, it always multiply itself

2005-06-18T22:24:00.000+08:00

Sch holidays left one more wk to go huh... guess many must be feeling kinda sad that holidays will soon be over and sch starts pretty soon. Well, for me, i have to start my engine in preparing for examz and also go on full gear on reseach on final year project. Coming monday going to meet the Project coordinator @ MDIS HQ, Eunos. Oh man, its super early lo. Need to be there at 9am. I wonder how am i going to survive. Sigh! the thought of needed to wake up at 6am is really scary. Its been ages since i wake up so early lo. haha.

Oh... my Godbros: Ben, Jeshua & Jonathan have been really wonderful. Ha ha.. a bunch of fun-loving bros and also who will irritate me lots. Well, Ben and Jonathan are very sweet la. They really made my wk! We went out on thrusday to buy Godpa a bk for Daddy's day and 2 of them got distracted to swee lee and then art friend while i get my watch done and headed to Tecman (Chrsitian Bk store) . Ben and Jonathan, aiz.. so secretive la.. wonder what are they up to. ha ha. Sometimes i must say that they really got lots of nonsenscial ideas and thots. :) After dinner, they locked themselves in the room. Like some scientists trying to reseach for new formula. And Jeshua the best la... comes to me in the kitchen while i was washing the dishes and say: Kor Kor Jon ask me to accompany you. (Ha ha so cute but then causes my suspicious to arouse la. hahah) But Jeshua, thks for being so sweet and never fails to include me in the activities!

ok.... guess what the 2 scientists have been doing? They made something for me!! If i had a digital cam, will take a pic of what they made and post it here. Ha Ha. Its really sweet of them. Well, according to Jon, 2 of them sense that i'm not my usual self for these few days..kinda like feeling down. So while they were at art friend, they decided to buy some art materials and make something for me. Oh man.... when i receive the gift, my heart really melt. I dunno what to say. Its only split seconds and i'm really speechless. I guess this is kinda the 1st time that someone really care enough to make my day, care enough to cheer me up in making something for me. Its so simple and yet mean lots to me. Thks bros for the effort, care, love and concern! Hugs!! :) Its really very heart warming and spur me to press on and pick myself up again. Love you lots : Ben, Jeshua and Jonathan! (the 3 monsters...mauahahah)

I guess where true love is among us, it always multiply itself. Isnt that amazing? I'm one person who give all out when someone crosses my path. And many times, its like a gamble for myself. Coz not very one will go all the way out for you even if you do so for others. Its like in this society, does authenticity relationship exist? Will someone really show care and concern without any motives attached? I think in today's society is really rare to find such trueness among each other. There are so many management theories that i've come across and i wondered many times if its applicable in organization. One example: mentoring. Its one of the hot topic in Human Resource Management. Mentoring place a part in the organization in training someone who can be your successor in near furture. Its a in-house training program where organization is able to exploit on its well of human resources in terms of skills, abilities and knowledge. Its like imparting the things that you had to another person. As we live in this world full of uncertainty and it seems like at any time, you can receive the golden handshake. Will organization really practice mentoring? I think the percentage of it is really low. Mayb mentoring is much more favourable in American companies due to their culture.

Its sad that many are becoming indifference and more and more self-centered. At the same time, it reveals the very ugly side of human beings. I cant help it but to have the thoughts of: people laughing at you or calling you silly in investing time in someone else's life to train him in work aspect. Well, what about church? Is it also the same? *shrugs* Is God family also no difference to the world out there? As for me, i've tasted authentic relationship established with God's family: Uncle Norbert & Family, Auntie Angel & Uncle Fred, Uncle Francis & Family , Autnie Eva and family, Godparents, Nelson sliblings and not forgetting Edmund too. Mayb some had yet to get a taste of it. For those who had tasted it, you know its worth while in investing in people's life. As the Bible says that in these last days, the love of many will grow cold and that's why Jesus says that through your love for one another, others will know that you are my disciples.

Its always a risk to open yourself to someone, and takes lots of courage to do so too. But where true love is, it always multiply itself. I believe when everyone starts to love each other with unconditional love, we inturn will receive that unconditional love that had been given away.

Love is patient; Love is kind;
Love is not envious or boastful or arrongant or rude
It does not insist on its own way;
It is not irritable or resentful
It does not rejoice in wrong doing, but rejoices in the truth
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

~1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

Caught a glimpse of God?

2005-06-06T23:22:00.000+08:00

Well, i'm suppose to post this last wk, but time does not permit. Ha ha. This wk will be another busy wk too. Children camp is like starting this wed. And i've been helping out to do the props and deco ...man, i painted till my back is aching la. Jia lat...b4 camp starts, physically already cant make it liaoz. I'm jus praying that all will turn out well. This sat will b like super dead duck la. Oh God, gotta really need your strength to go thru man.

Last 2 sundays(29th May) worship leading is one of which i ever felt God's existance so real in my life. I hardly had rest thou i'm really exhausted after the frisbee match la. Physically, i'm so tired but then mentally i'm hyper active. I cant get to Zzzzz. Its such a torture. Ha ha. I guess its one of those nites where u simply cant get to sleep. I remember telling God: Daddy, i need the rest so that i can be of good condition physically, mentally and spiritually. Dun wish to be some zombie. I was like pleading with God that i need to Zzzz ... pls let me sleep.

Whenever i cant sleep, i'll pray in the spirit. I dont know what God wants from me but praying in the spirit will allow my spirit man praying the very thing that's upon God's heart. Actually, that whole wk was just so weird...like out of your normal routine. I jus got a feeling that God wants to move on the 29th of May. Its as thou something big is really gonna take place. Its amazing how the worship practice goes. It went to a time of praying for the church and i remember saying : God, let this church be a church that carries your presence, a church that's on fire for you... etc.

Its as thou the river of God keep flooding in and you cant stop the momentum but to flow and ride in it. :) Well, on that sunday, i got up early coz i could hardly Zzzz and reaches church super early. Man, i was thinking, why am i here so early. Still have about 30mins to 45mins b4 i need to be at 5th floor for prayer meeting. My stomach is giving me the signal that i need food but yet, also like not really hungry. Aiz... i simply needed to do something to get my mind off worship leading. So, walked to the coffeeshop near church and ordered a bowl of dumpling noodles, end up didnt finish it la. ( i was like "playing" with my food)

Ivan, the keyboardist for sunday worship service popped by shortly i make my orders . Justus was late in meeting him. (Aiz.... justus ah.. forever late) Was jus telling him that i hardly slept the nite b4 and the feeling is worse than taking exam. Ha ha( some must be saying :" Ruth you are joking eh.") I'm really sensing that God's gonna move. It comes to a pt where i gotta air it out.. Lord jus do what you need to do! With my finite mind, i think i'm kinda like carrying the burden of the Lord. Its like so heavy till it began to cause me to shake. I'm really shaking from within. Its something like what i'll experience when i'm super duper freezing cold. But this kind of shaking is really twice much more . I was controlling so much on sunday so that i wont like shake so obviously la. Auntie Eva was ushering la.. then ask me if i'm ok. I replied her that i'm nervous.. well, i jus dunno how to describe to her what was i feeling at the moment she popped the qnz. ha ha :)

I'm really yearning to see God moved in a way that will blow my mind. I'm desiring to see God's power being manifested in our mdist. The power of God had really yet to be seen in the today's church. The message that Pastor Yang preached in Hinghwa last year still lingers in my mind. He had really preached something that i've been echoing for my own walk with the Lord. I really do not wish to have the form of christianity but deny of the power. Logically speaking, isnt it silly to own something but of no value?

I believe many would had read the bk: God's Chaser by Tommy Tenny. My heart really yearn for such visitation of the Lord. I dont know why but then, i remember sharing to someone b4 that: when i lead worship, i desire to see God move, see God at work in our mdist, even the pre-believers who are in the worship service with us cant help but to acknowledge God. In a way, they too gotta say that God is amongst us; having experienced God in one way or another. Having meet up with God is liken of customer having a taste of the products that they are buying than trying to sell the product to the customer thru marketing tactics.

Life-style evangelism is very important as we are called to make a difference to the world that we live in. I believe strongly in it and it served as setting examples. role modelling? haha. I would think so, coz being an example of what you are preaching about is more effective than purely telling others abt what you believe in or the principles that you up-hold. Some things can be taught but most of the things are caught. Life-style evangelism is only a part of the story, the full story is that, it also includes the power of God.

We really need to be vessels that practice the presence of God. It would mean wherever we are or whatever we are doing, we carry the presence of God with us. When God's presence is , there is liberty and i believe it will allow God to move. That's why King David crys out to God: do not cast me away from your presence. (rephrase) I dunno abt you but i'm praying that i'm have this constant hunger for God. Some times when i'm so busy, i really do miss God. Maybe it sound kinda weird but its like i miss someone that i've known for a long while but communication had weaken. And sometimes in my journal, i'll tell God that i missed him. I missed his touch, i missed his voice, i missed the love that he had for me, i missed sitting on his lap,...etc

Everyone of us have areas of our lives where nothing can ever filled up that void. It would mean events or even person. You can be in a crowb and yet feel lonely. Once in a while, such feelings of loneliness still creeps into my thots and life too. But i'm assured that i can always come into the presence of God any time, any where. Its 24/7. The bestest service provider you can ever find. Ha ha. Being in the presence of God is better anywhere else. Because He is my source and my Creator. The one who fashion me and knew me b4 i am in my mother's womb. He thot of me and had the blue-print of me. My existance is not a suprise to Him! So is urs. I just want to encourage you to spend a little more time in his presence and be suprise by what you can catch or hear from God himself.

For those who have not had any experience with God himself, why dont you give him a chance? Life is short! We can never know what will take place tomorrow. Do not miss the opportunity and postpone in giving God a chance.

Focus: yes? no?

2005-05-24T16:13:00.000+08:00

So many things had taken place..hmm dunno which to pen down ha ha. Well today is the lst day of sch aft the 2 weeks break. :) Did rested and recharged! Especially yesterday - public holiday lo so i really ZZzzzzz thru out la. Oh man sound like a pig man. But then having played my heart out on sunday (Jeshua's bday party) its good to Zzzzz. Wow so shiok la. Anyway, Let me sing Je a Bday song :P

Happy Birthday To you
Happy Birthday To you
Happy Birthday To Jeshua
Happy Birthday To you

Its really a pleasure to have known di and you've brought many laughters into my life! Continue to shine brightly for God and i believe you will definitely do great expliots for the LORD. Know Him and make Him known!! :)

This morning woke up early to have breakfast then head for sch. Well b4 that i managed to have a chit chat with God at Mac. Its really a gd start of the day for me. As i speak to God, tears started to roll down ( thk God no one saw.. so paiseh... or they must b thinking who's this person at a corner and crying? ) I've got no explaination as to why i'm tearing but within my heart i'm jus so overwhelm by Him. I've been really praying that God i dont want to lost the hungry for You. Having been in this relationship with God for a long time, its easy to cruise with Him. You know something, you can be doing your Q.T and have not touch God yet, have not meet up with God yet. And that's the scary part, to cruise along. Meaning, outwardly you look ok but inwardly you are really dieing spiritually.

I dunno why but each time i thot of it , i'm simply so fearful that i'll become indifference. And God did say in his word that he does not fancy lukewarm christian. He wants someone who is devoted to Him. With my own understanding, i would think God is looking for a child that has an undivided heart in seeking Him, someone who is focus on Him. I began to ask this Qnz as i attend the homcell where we are looking into the bk of James: Is it really good to be focus? Am i being too focused in my life? Many a times its so tempted to say: God can i not be so focus for awhile? Can i take a breather for awhile? Why am i "fighting" so hard, especially in ministry? Why do i have to go thru pain after pain? Why is this race so tough that it always take up all my energy, all my concentration, all my effort, ...my whole being. Its as thou Mark 12:30 being applied thru serving Him. *...Love the Lord with all your heart, and with all soul and with all your mind and with all your strength....*

God always says :" My daugther, you can run the extra mile for me." Sometimes i look at myself and say God, i've really given all that i can.. is this really another area that you wanna me to take it up for your sake? Is there not anyone else that will say YES LORD, here i am. I'll go with You. Lord, its me right. No ifs.... No buts. Its as thou you eat, sleep, and think abt the heartbeat of God and keep on seeking the will of God in your life, in knowing the direction that he wants you to take. Yes i do yearn for such closeness with God where i am constantly in communication with Him. I must say that its a high price to pay. This is especially so when i'm place in the " front line" ministry : worship leading, leading cell, ministering, etc.

Many a times i'm really left dry after all that. This can be seen already on saturday: youth worship. Thou i'm only singing but i feel as thou i'm co-leading with Jon. Probably its like i've been working with him for so long, and its like supporting each other when we are up on the stage in worship leading or even in leading bible studies in the cell. 3 of us: Edmund, Jon and i were so tired after worship. You just gotta stone for a while. One thing is that i'm glad that we meet up with God as a Youth Group! I would say that it's been a long time where we had commune with God in this manner corporately. Daddy, i'm so thankful that you showed up and take delight in our worship!

So back to the QNZ: being focus is good or bad? * shrugs* with my small and finite mind, i think i'm called into a race that's very different from people around me. I remember Rev Liew asking the congregation on whether we will stop running the race when the surrounding changes, others stop their race, tracks got weary or race got harder. I think to throw the towel will break my Daddy's heart. Moreover, He had not promised me a bed of roses but definitely a fulfilling , purposeful, eventful, satisfying life. *... For i know the thoughts that i think towards you, said the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end...* Jer29:11

There are still doubts, questioning abt the events of my life here on earth. I really gotta hang on to Matt 6:33 *... But seek ye 1st the kingdom of God and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you..* Yes Daddy, as promised, and i know that you will not short change me!

Flat Out

2005-05-16T22:38:00.000+08:00

Hello Frenz, backed after a week's break. Well, i've left only one more wk of holiday to enjoy b4 sch starts again. I guess i'm kinda mentally preparing myself for the start of a hectic sch life again. Well, dunno if its a good thing or a bad thing. Was complaining that seems kinda bored when you had breaks or holidays and others not. But then sch's starting and i wish for longer break. *shrugs*

Recently have been very tired. Dunno why also. Stress? Mayb la. I ZZZzzz lots when i'm stressed up. Probably this is one of the S personality characteristic. I left 3 more months to graduation or rather finishing of degree program. And within this 3 months, many things will take place la.. CMD June camp, exam, project, presentation, looking for job..etc Aunite Angel ask me to think of dance for the june camp. Oh man... the hard part is looking for songs. Children dance songs are especially hard to find!!! Sigh. June camp is so near lo. Got lots of preparation work to do la. Ben had booked me to help in doing up pros and the deco. So cool huh... ben is in-charged of the deco this time round lo. Can take over ur ma ma huh. heheheh

This week is kinda packed with stuffs. Not that bad. Will get by the week real fast la. Probably coz examz is over la...so most will be free lo.. so can fly liaoz. Looks like activities are gearing up man. Was in town today and man... every where is people lo. Can you imagine? Its only monday and orchard is super crowded!!! I thot i'll be able to cruise thru orchard and slowly make my choice on things to buy. Sigh but that's not the case lo. Its the beginning of the great SINGAPORE SALES. Aiz.. comes to sales, singaporeans really go crazy man. Tangs is like so packed la. Citybank's having this discount thingy la.. 12% discount for every purchased made. So that explains why all the working adults will make the effort to travel down to town and exploit on the discount and sales season. Wonder what will happen when the sale reaches the climax. Well, people just be prepared to have good bargins la.. hee hee.. eNjOyS!!!!

Prayer spoken from a heart

2005-05-10T23:53:00.000+08:00

Have been postponing on blogging. Anywayz, here's another entry. Oh 1st of all wanna thank Alvin Tay ( i hope i got your family name right ha ha. There are simply too many alvin(s) that i've known) : thks for sending the song, "Shout Your Fame". I've been looking for this song high and low. Ha ha. Asked the right person. Yeah! :) Oh the song is awesome! Maybe i should lead this song for the next worship leading for family service. Ha ha. Well, its like this season got no ministering and up lifting praise songs to lead. ( finally found one? ha ha.. *shrugs* )

I've got 2 wks term break. Many had like asked me: Didnt you just started sch? holiday again? So fast leh! ha ha i also think so lo. But this 2 wks i think its for me to do some research. So today i very guai, fulfilled that. :) Went to the library to look for some info. Aiz... not really very fruitful la. But then, i'm trusting God to help me write this report on strategic management. I realised that thou i've chosen a topic that's very much on what's upon my heart but i really find it so hard to pen it down. Hmmmm * shrugs* Maybe its like something that you care so much till you simply dunno how to express it in words. I think prayer and intercession is liken of that.

Sometimes in prayer, you simply got no words to pray abt the matter or when you interceed in the spirit till a pt, tears jus kept flowing with no utter of words. It reminds me of Samuel the prophet's mother, Hannah. [..and it came to pass, as she continued praying before the LORD, Eli ( priest) marked her mouth. Now Hannah, she speak in her heart; only her lips moved, but her voice was not heard: therefore Eli thought she was drunk. ] She's barren and she wanted a child so much so that when she prayed before God, its no longer a prayer that outflows from her lips but from her heart. Sigh, how many times have i prayed a prayer like Hannah - a prayer that outflows from my heart than from my lips.

Many a times before i pray ( especially during homecell when there is prayer request ) i'll ask God to let me be where his children are: those that are in difficult situation, those who are in pain, those who are disappointed, those who are going through tough times. I find it hard to pray when i'm not where they are coz i can never fully understand the rough patches that they are going through. The Bible says that we are all parts of the body. If one part is hurt, the whole body hurts. (rephrase) With this in mind, therefore i always ask God to let me feel the hurt or the burden so that i can pray. Then i would say that its a prayer that will be outflow from my heart than purely just from my mouth.

Last Sunday, my heart is heavy after visitation that i went with Deng Khin. The whole prcoess is very light thou. But somehow it paints a picture for me that's so real that i began to ask God about his riches and glory. People likes to code stuffs such as : God is my provider, His grace is sufficent for me, My God shall supply all my needs according to his riches in heaven...etc. If i'll to tell all these codes to the family, its like what the saying goes : kai (1) kou(4) shuo (1) kong(1) hua(4) [ i'm not sure if this is the correct phrase with the right chinese charactor :) ] What i mean is that these codes would not mean anything to the family. Just by being there for about an hr or so, i can say that to raise a family is really not easy. There are so many factors and financial commitment to it. Just name one: food. Food alone can really take up lots of your monthly salary. This is espeically so for family with kids that are going through puberty.

The kids are all attending powerhse and ironically, we just taught them about the giver than the gift and we can only be really happy not with earthly things but having Jesus in us. It like learning this lesson and putting it into application right away. Woooo ha ha. When the rubber meets the road, do we still cling on to what God had promised us? For Christian, its testing of our faithfulness towards the Lord- still following Christ? What abt the pre-believers? I can only pray that God will move in such a way that will blow their minds and concepts on who God is.

I'm asking God to open up my spiritual eyes so that i can see his move in Singapore ( my surounding), beat within my heart his thoughts and put in me a passion for his name.

Consuming Fire
There must be more than this,
O breath of God come breathe within,
There must be more than this,
Spirit of God we wait for You.

Fill us anew we pray,
Fill us anew we pray.

(Chorus)
Consuming fire fan into flame,
A passion for Your Name,
Spirit of God fall in this place,
Lord have Your way,
Lord have Your way with us,

Come like a rushing wind,
Clothe us with power from on high,
Now set the captives free,
Leave us abandoned to Your praise.

Lord let Your glory fall,
Lord let Your glory fall.

Stir it up in our hearts Lord,
Stir it up in our hearts Lord,
Stir it up in our hearts Lord,
A passion for Your Name.

All About Him

2005-05-07T00:28:00.000+08:00

29 Asribe to the LORD the glory due to his name: bring an offering and come before him. Worship the LORD in holy splendor;

30 Tremble before him, all the earth. The world is fimrly established: it shall never be moved.

31 Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice, and let them say among the nations, "The LORD is king!"

32 Let the sea roar and all that fills it; let the fields exult and everything in it.

33 Then shall the trees of the forest sing for joy before the LORD, for he came to judge the earth

34 O give thanks unto the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever

~ 1 Chronicles 16 : 29 - 34 (NRS version)

Unpredicable

2005-05-03T23:51:00.000+08:00

Yeah!..the sun is out and its kinda burning... OOoooo so hot. I can feel my skin burning while walking to sch.. its a burning hot day!! Weather nowadays are like so unpredicable. Hot a min, wet the next. Sigh... anywayz, i had my swim at the usual place. I was walking to the pool and saw the sun but somehow a small area of that clear sky is grey. My heart is crying out: Oh Daddy, pls hold the rain..your daughter wants to siwm.. :(

As i journey to the pool, i witness the grey cloud travelled. Its sunny and yet, the grey cloud evokes. One of my past time during my childhood is to watch the clouds "changing" and "transforming" itself into different pictures. Ha ha.. like watching some magic or what. But its really wonderful... so relax. But today is different... i'm keeping watch so that it will NOT rain. I've bought my gears.. so heavy lo. No matter how, still must swim. I guess u must have know the ending: It didnt rain?

Well.... not quite right. It did rain but only for a while... sunny still. Ha ha. Even as i was walking, somehow i know that grey cloud is not going to stay for long! My Daddy in heaven will definitely hold the rain for me. Yeah! Love you lots Daddy..mucks! :) I learnt a life object lesson today with God. Ha ha.. i always love it when i'm learning something that's tangible. ( i like it when God show me things in a tangible way.. woo hoo!! )

I'm so conscience abt the grey cloud that's like evoking the clear blue sky. I'm concentrating on the grey cloud so much so that i missed out the clear blue sky. And i was thinking, isnt it the same with life too? We foucs lots on the pain, disappointment, difficulty,..etc and missed out the positve side of the story. Some ppl may have +ve mindset and always look at things on the brighter side.. but i believe at the back of the mind, it will left the possiblity of : what if it doesnt work? what if things are going to get worse?

Well... the grey cloud is not going to stay. Its merely passing by. I saw small area of the grey cloud getting bigger, going where the wind blows and then... float pass the lavender community. Its like our problems or situations are sometimes like the progress of the small grey cloud. 1st its pretty small,but it gets bigger and then its moving so slowly and eventually it passes by and the clear sky is out again with the sun shinning so brightly. My physical senses tell me that its going to rain. (I can smell the rain : hard to explain on this but u just know that it will definitely rain.) i felt as thou nature is telling me: Ruth, u can forget about swimming. Thou its sunny now but it will rain.. y waste your effort to walk all the way to the pool and cant even dip in the pool. Waste your $1 also. Go there and bath ah? ha ha

But i keep on walking and i finally reached the pool, the sun is still shinning. Grey cloud still exist... still there, not completely cleared. But this time round, my focus is no longer on the grey cloud but on the pool, sun, tan and workout. Hee Hee. Thou the grey cloud is still ard, i can still enjoy my swim! It rained a little, but soon its over and i swam in warm waters .. haha. The sun is so hot that it keeps the waters warm. :)

As i look back, i'm glad that i pressed on and it proves to me that need not to worry so much. The grey cloud is not there to stay but merely passing by. At the same time, rain will definitly comes . Its only the matter of time. Soon after i had dinner, its pouring lo.. hahah i still managed to walk to the bus-stop located at the civil servant club ( some club la..dunno the name of it) to take a bus to Novena Sq and changed to 167 that will bring me home. :)

When you know the season, ( timing in this case ..hee hee) u vex not but had peace because you know the purpose of the grey cloud in your life and simply do what you gotta do! :)

Wet wet wet

2005-05-01T23:58:00.000+08:00

Today's been real exciting. Ha ha. Guess what i did? i played water bomb with the kids. ( i believe many who know me in poly or Uni find it hard to come to terms with this. They must be thinking: is this the Ruth that i know? ha ha ) Well, i was thinking to myself.. probably this is the very rare chances that u see Ruth doing something like that and i believe i wont be engaging in such activities with my peers.. they would had label me crazy or childish. haha.

Imagine with me k.. the field ( ok not that big.. Uncle Norbert's place la ) Made up of frens such as: Tabbi, Francine, Jeshua, Quek, Alaster, Jon Tan, Gabriel, Priscilla, Ben and Peter Su. I look at the picture as a 3rd party, hMmmm i'm the only one that's like 20 something? ha ha. It feels weird. But thou such thots came to my mind, i enjoyed myself. contridicting? yah i think so too. I wonder if the 20 something people will do something like that? Running ard to get things like pail or basin and refilling plastic bags (water bomb) and shoot ur " enemies" ha ha.. jus a thot. ;) Everyone is really wet man.. but then shiok! Even GanMa is wet too...kena sabo! Muahaahh.

We had our small grp celebration of the PDL ... k@bode homecell really function like a family. Everyone is closely kinted together. Its really like what the verse says: we who are many forms one body and each member belongs to one another (rephase). This is can be seen already in the preparation of the food. Aunite Esther and Auntie Angel cooked some of the food and some others are tabao. Well Aunite Eva the best la.. go all the way to katong to get chicken lo. But its really nice. yummy!! :P Through the cooking process everyone helped out. And its really very enjoyable as in everyone chip in and chit chat at the same time. You can really see that in organizing something like that (big gathering) it really need lots of team work to make it happen. Well, i learn something even as i was helping out. ( you gotta dip tou fu in flour b4 frying them and it will be crispy) Its fun la.. in a way u cook and yet no need to mop the floor after frying the stuffs. ( ha ha..that's beside the pt...jus a bonus) And some others help to lay the tables ..etc.

I guess i dont come from a big family as in having lots of slibings or dine frequently with cousins and extended family. Therefore, doing something like that where people are gathered together in doing things together is fun to me. Seldom got that kind of chance lo. Maybe i like re(4) nao(4). It reminded me of something that i told God and pen it down in my journal. If i have my own family, i would love to buy a hse that's near to church where youths or children can come and hang out at my place. But they must clear up the mess that they make la.. haahah I think, youths or teens love company and having a place that they can always drop-by will be really cool! Atleast they can find a place to chill out with their friends; a place where relationship can be established, a place where acceptance is found, a place where fun can be created for enjoyment: enjoying each other's company and crappyness too! :)

New insight

2005-04-29T23:53:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, thks for dropping by the north side of Singapore. Its really rare to have friends that will travel so far just to have dinner. It really warms my heart :) Yah i know some ppl will say that my area is a very Ulu place la. Well.... its not that Ulu la.. still got human beings living and staying in this area and making a living la. Pai seh la.. comes to food, i dont go all the way to try which is nice and good lo. I simply just eat and fill my hunger. Ha Ha. So sorry guys, my area i dunno where's the nice and cheap food lo. Like my dear brother says, there's no nice and cheap food here la. He actually recommend the seafood place at sembawang beach lo.. oh that's crazily expensive la. ha ha. Maybe next time can go down to sembawang shopping centre to eat at sakae sushi. Its super quiet there. So can have the whole place to yourselves, yeah! :)

Yesterday i was worshipping God and suddenly i got into reflecting upon the word: Adore. What do mean when you say adoring God? I was closing my eyes, concentrating on God and suddenly i found myself having the urge to reach out my hands and touch God ( not physically la.. i'm playing the guitar.. ha ha) It was as thou God is sitting by my bed and chit-chatting with me. Oh wow.. cool. This is one of the few encounters that's so up close and personal with God to the extend that i reach out and touch God in a tangile manner. :) I think adoring God is like that, jus like the blind man, feeling the face features of love ones that he cant see with his physical eyes.

Adoring God is also liken that of what the blind man would do, touching every area of the face in detail. Having to piece the look of the person in their mind and register them. I really feel as thou i'm touching the face of God slowly with my fingers, paying attention to the details such as jaw lines,..etc. Its an experience that i've never had. I dont know how best to describe it or pen it down here. But i sure know of one thing is that adoring something cant be done is a fast fast chop chop manner. Its a slow process that enables you to pay close attention to every detail of things and through that, you discovered something new about God himself ! :) Another precious moment with God that is etched in my mind!!

ADORE
The universe is at your feet
Gives you praise evermore
The stars will light the sky for you
And always, God we praise

And we sing
The Lord is on high
The Lord is on high

I adore you
I adore you
And there's none that compares
to your majesty oh Lord
I adore you
I adore you
And i'll stand
in the wonder of your love

We will crown you
King forever
Living Savior
Jesus Redeemer
Lord of Heaven
Clothed in majesty
Crowned in glory
Creation adores you

Holy holy
God almighty
And forever
The Lord is exalted
Hear The Angels
Shout his anthem
Everliving
God we adore you

-Blank-

2005-04-27T23:51:00.000+08:00

Today's Philip's Birthday... Let me sing you a song k Philip:

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to Philip
Happy Birthday to you

Hee hee.. didnt get to do so earlier. Sorry ah.. pai seh, couldnt have lunch with you. Got visitation lo. :) Glad to hear from Jon that you enjoyed urself with him at Jack's place.. thou that food there not very nice la. I think the company counts huh! ha ha. Hey Bro, u getting more and more cranky huh.. good sign la.. at least begining to tok more. But then huh.. stop ganging up with jon to irritate me la.. 1st warning... ( Ruth stares .... dun play play)

Visitation is fun. Through visitation, i get to touch base with the children staying ard our church better. Some are good in their studies, from ok (middle income family) family background, fun and loving people... but some are not that fortunate... family background can be very complicated. I think.... i suddenly got to see the 2 sides of the coins. They are extreme cases.... 2 ends of the line which can be hard to balance or meet up. I gotta be really honesty that i can get emotionally dried up after visitation. But i think its really part and parcel of ministry. I've been exposed to listen and minister to children growing up from the church rather than those that dont. I guess its all the different made up and different set of problems faced by them.

Sometimes i wonder if i can really make a difference in the family situations of the children staying near church. Some are real cases and they needed financial help, tuition, care and love for the children. All i can say is that God, give me the wisdom to know what to say and when to say and what to do. I need to once again echo the prayer: God fill me more of your love and extend time so that i can have a bigger heart to enlarge my circle of influence to more people that you had brought and crossed my path. I needed more time so that i can managed between studies (thou finishing soonz) and ministry. Hmmz already in S'pore i think its really kinda bad.. wad abt countries like America or Europe..i think its 10 times worse (or more). I really dun dare to think abt it..therefore i gotta pei(4) fu(3) Bill Wilson who minister to those street kids (into drugs) in New York (i think) and almost cause his own life. Oh God have mercy to those kids who are suffering and be a father to those who are fatherless!

Suddenly i feel as thou lavender is like mission ground. I've always walked past the places that i've visited today but never really took the lift up to see the living condition of the people staying in lavender community. Its been really eye opener and also reality of life sets in. In our own world, we kinda like to always paint a perfect picture.. but it is only fantasy. The truth is, life is filled with joy, laughter, pain and sadness. Our response to each situation will make a difference to the outcome. LIke what Auntie Deng Khin ( i'll prefer calling her Deng Khin) says: These Children are able to invent games and include other kids to play with them. I believe that even in the diffculty of life(pain), joy can be found too!

In ending off, jus wanna to post this song that i like it lots from Always and forever- Planet shakers : Cry Holy

Cry Holy

Wondrous mystery, in the pages of history,
Of a man who bled and died for me,
Its more than a story, He's the one who hung up on a tree,
His crimson flow poured out for me,
Gave His life to set my free

[Chorus]
I fall down, I fall down,
And I fall down on my knees,
And cry holy is the Lord
Worship him, worship him and adore

Wondrous mystery, in the pages of history,
Of a man who bled and died for me
Its more than a story, he’s the one who hung up on a tree
His crimson flow poured out for me
Gave his life to set me free

(Repeat chorus)
I cry holy, I cry holy is the Lord X5

Now & Then

2005-04-24T22:20:00.000+08:00

Today is the end of 40days PDL event. Ooooo many might have said.. ah its finally over. Can take a breather liaoz. Most are like saying : enough of Pastor Rick Warren and PDL thingy. Ha ha.. does he sound so scary? Ha ha ha...i can understand where we are coming from! :) i personally had learnt many things from this bk. I think its pretty obvious in the past entries that i've made huh. ;) I'm so proud of the Powerhse DANCERS : Tabbi, Francine, Peter Su, Jeshua & Jonathan Lim. Hey you guys and gals did a great job!! Continue to shake it for God! Wow.. you ROCKS! :) Its been a great pleasure to be dancing with you and performing it in giving God the enjoyment of watching his children dancing in his presence.

Was having a chat with Edmund after the celebration sunday ....stoning away la.. hahha and i'm really very excited. I dunno why but somehow its like ... the real race had just began. There are more things coming our way. Its like a cause and effect thingy la. I'm influenced by HISTORY teacher la... coz my sec sch History teacher always like to draw the cause and effect analysis on why things happen and how has it affect the society. heee heee all thks to Mrs See ( i dunno if she remembers me.. hahahha didnt go back to sec sch also. bleahs)

I'm excited not because 40 days are over. But rather, what had birthed off from these 40days that we had set aside in knowing our purposes. Edmund, its so encouraging to talk to you and also inspiring as we share on the passion that we have for The Joshua Generation! ;) I believe that God is touching many hearts of the youths. Even as i was ministering to the youths on saturday..i feel so comforting. I dunno why but just comforting in knowing that God had always paid close attention to this bunch of Jgianz. I'm yearning to see the mission statement coming to pass. In a way, seeing youths of faith and boldness, discipled in the great commandments and fulfill the great commission!

Some of us ( looking at JG as a whole) are going through tough times. It seems like the going gets tougher and tougher and you definitely dont like it. And the constant struggle and facing the challenge makes you wondered many times of when is this going to end. Take joy my friends. God says that he will not test you beyond what you can bear. I would like to look from the perspective that God is simply training my spiritual stamina so that i can run an extra mile for Him. Even as i was ministering, i began singing: we will be your hands, your feet and your mouth. (I'm amazed by what i've just sung in the free worship) I think we are going through some shaking in our lives and when the opportunity comes, we are ready to say YES LORD, where you've called me, i'll go. I'll be your Hands, your Feet and your Mouth.

I heard of a life tesitmony of a Taiwanese news reporter : Hu (2) Yi (4) Hu(3), christian name (or rather English name): Tiger [ this is real k..dont laugh ;) ] He shared that being a reporter has been his childhood dream. Whenever his dad is watching news, he got to keep very quite so as not to disturb his dad in concentrating on the news. And it makes Tiger irritated because he simply cant stop talking. ( I think he's got a I (influencial ) personality- give of the gap :) ) So he said to himself : wait and see. Surely, one day will come to pass that i'll be talking and you will be listening to the news. With this in mind, he made it. He had come a long way in his career with the media. I would say that he is one guy that likes challenges and seeks for opportunities. When opportunites arises, he graps them. For example, when sept 11 took place, he will yearn to fly to America and interview the President despite of the uncertainty and fear in risking his life to get information. Sadly, his companydidnt give him that assignment. But one thing that he said, had left a great impression in me: prepare yourself, get ready! When opportunites come, ride on it.

I think opportunites can really pass us by very quickly if we fail to size it. In terms of his work, in order to interview the President of United State, it will required him to know how to speak and write English. He would that have to put in the hard work in getting himself prepared so that when the company give his any assignments, he is ready for the job and able to travel at anytime. Through this, i can see his passion that drives the actions that he will do, so that he can fulfill his assignments. ( i'll see that its no longer a job but its his career. There's a huge difference in having a job and building my career)

Friends, i really think that God is really preparing us. In preparation, God may wants us to cut down on certain things in our life so that He can get us to be focus on him and knowing what is his heartbeat for us in this season. In a way, He might stir in you a desire to draw even closer to Him and listen to His voice, getting in tune with His movement: what He wants to do and flow together with Him...being an instrument for Him to carry out certain work. :)

I think its will be really awesome to see youths burning with passion to bring the light to all nations, carrying the torch for Christ. But before we can do it,. preparation comes 1st. God may be preparing many hearts in JG. Obedience and a willing vessel really count it all. Each vessel is unique and will have different degree of preparation. For Queen Esther, she has to soak herself with so many different spices so that she can make a difference in her time (generation?) and be the vessel that God uses to deliver the Jews. The success story of Queen Esther can never take place if she is not obedience to the preparation work and is willing to stand up for her people who are suffering. In the mdist of preparation, God's favour is upon her where the person who knows the king best is assigned to be her assistant. With that, definitely Queen Esther outshine the other beauties and win the king's heart!

So friends, i believe when God is preparing you, He wont leave you in a lurch but will empower you. Its really my prayer to see JGianz, get ready and when the opportunites come our way, we will not let them pass us by but will grap every opportunites where we can be in partnership with God and used by Him in making HISTORY! So i'll like to echo again: PREPARE yourself, get READY! When opportunities come knocking at the door, SIZE it! :)

To The Ends of The Earth
Love unfailing
Overtaking my heart
You take me in
Finding peace again
Fear is lost
In all you are

And I would give the world to tell Your story
Cause I know that You've called me
I know that You've called me
I've lost myself for good within Your promise
I won't hide it
I won't hide it

Jesus, I believe in You
And I would go to the ends of the earth
To the ends of the earth
For You alone are the Son of God
And all the world will see
That You are God
You are God

Success from Failing?

2005-04-23T13:35:00.000+08:00

Hi Hi Hi..ha ha finally i can log on into my own blog. There's jus so many things that i wanna blog but now kinda hard to like put my thots in words. Anyway, i'll try. :) Oh yah...sch started. Cool. As usual but the pace is very different. Its like driving on the expressway now. My last 2 subjects are related to accounting. Oh God.. needed you lots lots lots to go thru these 2 papers man. I'm not good in accounts man. Hmmz however..they have been interesting as they focus on strategic synergy in turning the company assets into income or profit and at the same time i also learnt abt where to get $$. That's very important, isnt it? Who knows? next time, what i've learnt abt getting funds can be put into pracitce. ;)

Ha ha.. i dont think i wanna be a career woman la. Never like that phrase to be used on me thou. Career woman sound like a woman that is not interested in having a faimly and put all her energy into business ventures. Sound like a I , ME. MYSELF. I think i still want to enjoy life with love ones. Thou money is important but its never everything. Maybe successful woman sound nicer.. what you u do think? ha ha. Successful woman would have included wider area of interest. It does not only focus purely on business ventures or challenges but incudes raising up family, service to God: fulfilling her destiny in God, excel in her career,..etc.

Success is very hard to measure. What i think success should be will be different from what you have in mind of a successful individual. There's just so many views on success. However, i would like to zoom into a common chinese idom: Shi(1) Bai(4) Nai(3) Shi (4) Cheng (1) Gong(1) Zhi(1) Mu(4) . Failure is the mother of success ( direct translation la... haahhah ) Many of us are really afraid to fail or to fall. I'm also like that . We fear of examz... i think not really examz but fear to fail in grad to the next level of education. Is failure really so fearful? I think so.

I could still remember the very 1st time that i took degree examiniation. It was as thou yesterday. I'm fearful of going for the 1st paper: Business Law!!!. I really gotta drag myself out of the hse and took the train to Bishan. This is one of the very few chances that i had such close encounter with fear itself. I battled with God: Is this really what you have planned for me? To go on a degree prog? Have i heard correctly? I doubt God. God in his mercy sustained me thru all 6 papers in written eassys.

Many a times in my life, God has to put situations that allows me to count the cost. For example, if i'll to open myself to other people in my life, i risk the privacy of my life, i risk the amount of time i'll be spending with the people, i risk the impression that people will have about me. God has to put me in these situations so that i'll always seek HIS approval than others; i'll build my IDENTITY in Him, not others; i'll find my real WORTH, VALUE and SIGNIFICANCE in Him and not others. He determine the outcome of the process or situation and not me ( in other words, He determine the conclusion and not me)

Sometimes failure is begining of a breakthru. I've failed 2 papers in yr 1 of the degree prog. Its not the end of the world. One failure dont determine everything and conclude tht you are a failure. I'm still pressing on for the last lap. I made it in yr 2. I would say that having the failing of the 2 papers enables me look at things from God's perspective. I needed to learn this lesson so that i can face greater challenges in life ahead! I believe that you guys must had heard of Walmart ( its a hypermart that's similar to Carrefour). You wont get to know of Walmart if the owner had not been rejected of his application for security guard of a high rise building. His success story is also part of his failure. Fail to get the job. He is being rejected and sat at the road side when he saw people putting up stores to sell vegetables, fruits, ..etc. It gave him an idea of a supermarket chain. Not only just any supermarket but a hypermart tht allows consumers to engaged in one-stop shopping. The sucess of Walmart is birth from the failure of getting employed as a security guard; being rejected by the recruiter.

Friends, failure is not tht scary. I really believe its a good thing. Do We need to see failure so hard and our life have to be perfect? Who can be perfect anyway? We are all human beings after all. Yes we seek to be perfected by God but in our own strength .. this can never happen. Through the close encounter with fear, i learnt to know that God holds my world. Suddenly, i'm able to appreciate the song: Still -> Be still and know that i am God. Life is full of surprises... (some may say life is like a box of chocolate..hehehe) I'll stay open and enjoy those surprises that had been planned by God in my life. What about you? :)

Many are called, Few are chosen

2005-04-11T14:24:00.000+08:00

Ahem ahem... oh no.. throat's not well today. Have been avoiding fried stuffs but yet.. my throat seems like getting from bad to worse. Oh God, how to lead worship this sunday. :( Yah i'm really just gotta sing and God u gonna make it sound nice. ( Hee Hee... sorry guys if i go off key on sunday, simply cover ur ears la. :P )

Today suppose to be up and go for visitation. But then received a call from DK and its postponed. God knows best... my body is kinda aching.. i dunno why. Seems like going to develop into having a fever soonz. Aiz.. thank God its postponed.. if not i dunno how man. Going to take some liang cha later... how come my body system goes hye-wire. *shrugs*

Its pleasent surprise to see some tag coming in. Hee hee. Used to wonder if tag board is necessary for my blog since like no ppl really visit it...i guess. But anyway, was "debating" with a friend regarding blogging. I think some people see blogging like a online diary or a place where they simply can air out their views or to keep memories of what had happened in their life. Well, to me personally, blog had become like reminder of things for me. Each time i'm feeling down or stressed or upset; re-reading those enteries that i made bring encouragement to me. It seems as thou i'm encouraging myself. ( Weird huh.. i also think so. But somehow its been effective for myself. Hmmmz.. refocusing back to God? I suppose. :)) )

I guess sometimes in life you can never fully understand a person very well. (this applies to best buddies, married couples, dating couples, or even loved ones like family members... my thots ) I think besides God who really knows you best, the next person in line is yourself. We do in one way or another need people ( close friends ) to act like a sounding board to us, where we share and bare our hearts to one another. But ultimately, friends can give good advice, friends can keep you in prayer, friends can give you the support; all in all, still need you to brace up the courage and face it.

We are not lone rangers, we need people to be around us : fellowship. But like Job, ultimately, He stood before God and passed the test. He had an encounter with God so much so that he endured through the test. I dont know if Job had an account on those things that took placed in his life, keeping a diary like us or blog. But these encounters are definitely stored in his mind, where he can draw out those promises that God spoken to him; or those intimate times that he has with the Lord himself. Many a times, preacher liks to draw on the analogy that Jesus withdrew himself , away from the crowd to spend time with the Father. And therefore He is able to say, i move not until i see my Father moved. My food is to do the will of God( repharse )

We (including myself) know what we ought to do, what is required to do.. but many a times does them not. *shrugs* We desire the +ve outcome but not willing to sacrifice. Spiritual growth, or being more like Christ takes lots of effort and total commitment. If we really want to grow, pain , trouble and temptation are inevitable. Its part of the growing process. If there's no pain, we will not know what is joy. If there's no trouble, we will not know what is security. If there's no temptation, we will not know what is freedom.

Even as i read PDL bk, i gotta be really honest. Its tough to be a disciple of Christ. How we react and respond to situations will reflect the christlikeness in us. So to be more like Christ, does it means that more problems ordifficulty willbe encountered?? I believe so. This is because, its through these difficult times , we will grow much more spiritually. So next time when the going gets tough, or -ve things happen, face it with the mindset that we are learning something and God is simply putting me thru a life lesson.

Many are called but few are chosen. Its my prayer to see many will endure thru the test and will come forth shinning brighter for God. Press on, press on. Its not finished till we meet Christ again.

Trading my sorrows
I'm trading my sorrows
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord

I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord

We're saying
Yes Lord, Yes Lord, Yes, Yes, Lord (x3)
Amen

Well we're pressed but not crushed
Persecuted not abandoned
Struck down, but not destoryed
We are bless beyond the curse
For his promise will endure
And his joy is gonna be my strenth
Though sorrows may last for a night
There is joy comes in the morning

Dog-tired VS Charged up

2005-04-07T23:23:00.000+08:00

Oh man, my body is aching... that's not a good sign thou. It jus shows that i've not been exercising ( opps =O ) Tueday was washing clothes, so take the opportunity to exercise.. end up my legs and arms are aching... then wed went down to Jon's place to brain storm powerhse dance. Oooooo pure workout againz. Hee Hee...but its really fun. Shiok!(blah :-))

Oh managed to catch the DVD on the hillsongs kids' worship. hmmmmmz i think i like powerhse better. The dance and worship songs with actions like got more standard.. ( opps i jus cant help it but to put this on the web!!! ) Jon and i were like wondering,.... hmmmmm how do the children concentrate on worshipping God. This is especially so for the slow songs. Children attention span is very short. I think sign language is still good to help children engage in worshipping God. :)))

We finally got the steps for powerhse dance.... had a great time man. It's gonna be jus COOL!! Cant wait to launch it and teach the dancers the steps. The song is called : I'M REALLY HAPPY. Hee hee... all the praise songs are in techno beat! This is can be the next wave of music man... saw some of the dance movements that hillsongs dancers came up with and its a combi of hip-hop and street dancing. :)) Mayb its time that i should go take up some dance lessons...hmmm i think should do that if i cant find a job aft i grad. ( hopfully not la :|)

Today i had a great time in meeting up with Gary... its a long time eversince i last tok to him. Aiz... pastor wad.. so bz ma... (ooo he's gonna kill me for saying that ..bleah) Now got gf so think more time taken up huh... meeting up with ur SL also.. ha ha. But hey brother, thks for taking the time for catching up! I guess each time when we exchange views on ministry, it enlarge my thinking and concepts too. Really encouraged to know that we are all running this race and making an impact to the world where so many events are uncertain and ever changing. So jia you jia you in this race la! :)

hmmmz need to sign off liaoz... eyes are clsing. before that,.... Jon ah. Dun be too hard on urself k.... when the going gets tuff, come to God with the childlike faith and pick you up again to be on his shoulders, looking at things from his perspective :) keep u in prayer kzz... press on!! Luv u lots. ;-)

Finally Up again

2005-04-06T02:12:00.000+08:00

Hey Friends,
its been a long long long time eversince i last blog. Well, there's just so many things that had taken place. Ooooo life's like packed with so many activities that i'm almost been driven by events after events. Aiz.. finally got the chance to take a breather and blog.. ( lame ^.^ )

1st i think let update abt church:- PDL ( Purpose Driven Life) . I think this is one of the very few occasions that the whole English congregation is in one mind and one heart , going thru the PDL's 5 purposes. and guess what, a breakthru for myself as in wrote a song for children PDL. ha ha this is really something that i never imagine doing it.. composing a song. I always thought that i dun have the talent in writing songs... and that rather true. Without the help of my irritating and a the same time lovable godbrother, this song would not had been out so fast during the CNY period. Just one day and there... its done. ( Heyz brother, thks for that inspiration and giving some melody to the song. :-) )

I've discovered something about myself. I think i remember things faster with pictures. What do i mean? Well... sometimes sermons that we heard are usually fade quickly in our memory bank. I'm able to remember the preacher's key pts better when i'm able to draw a picture that reflect the key pts. I guess i'm a visual person... ha ha.. this is really something very new. This is because, generally, guys are more visual than gals. I guess i'm jus that odd one out then. ( ha ha ;-)) HMmmmz listening to sermon becomes much enjoyable than waiting for the preacher t0 "entertaine" us with some jokes ( worse if its a cold joke...burrrr ) or stories and illustrations. It helps in focusing too... so next time if you ever caught me drawing... i'm simply focusing on the preacher. ( haha... =P)

2nd- oooo having holis now.... Joel 3 jus asked me why so sian... holiday and yet sian.... Aiz.. sometimes i dunno having long break is a gd thing or bad thing. Everyone's bz when i'm so free. Wad to do... my timing is simply so different. But at least i can shop at the hrs where the malls are at the off-peak hrs. Hee Hee good man.. i love to go down to town especially on monday at abt say late afternoon. hahhahah all the students are bzing with examz now.. well... to all Uni, poly, JC, secondary and primary school students.. Jia you kz..my friends. It might be very scary in going thru that period, but it definitely will be over soon. When u look back, u then realised that God's hand is really upon us. Its not that bad after all... like a journery of faith. :-) I was just reading the PDL book on discipleship. We need to take the 1st step of faith then can the Holy Spirit in us does his work. We can never be filled with confident and feel so secure before moving out and go on a explosure trip with God. We need to take the step of faith, then can the Holy Spirit work in us to become more like Christ. :-) Becoming more like Christ would mean when we face with situation how is our response to the situtation liken that of Christ. This is a long long process that each one of us gotta go thru with Christ himself. :))) ( So Jia You my friends...have fun in the journey of discovery!! )

ok gotta sign off.... that's all for now....ZZZZzzzzz Chaoz

Thousand miles away

2005-01-06T23:42:00.000+08:00

Aiz.. today's so paiseh.... so malu... forgot most of the things that i learnt from the previous vocal training...especially breathing. My neck is like always so tense.. then shoulders kept going up. Man.. 1st time i feel so stressed like for a vocal training. Hmmmmz today then i realsied that belivers music has got 2 staffs with the same name: Michelle. I was under the other Michelle for the 1st vocal training. Somehow very different la.. mayb i should jus relax have fun and enjoy.. make mistakes also nevermind. :))) Yah.. must do homework... drop mouth and breathe.. and the "bor" , "i chest". Ha ha... funny they may sound but i think its correcting the force of singing.. ;))

Oooooo my neck is still so tense..anyone offering a massage? hahhaaha wonder y. Mayb i've been carrying too heavy stuffs. ( getting old i think.. jia lat! :| ) Oh yah.. Ivan cough cough cough... bar you frm drink kopi and teh! Hands shaking.. still continue drinking.. ai yoz ( shake head ) Anyway ..pls take care of yourself and dun get into the cranky mode too much.. ha ha. So many things cant eat.. mauahahaahah ...gotta discipline yourself.. poor thing. ( evil luff..anyone wanna eat prata? - Rivervale mall food court: not bad!)

Oh yah.. i finally get all the information for ushering (Terence and Huiling's wedding) So those involved.. please check your email k. Sorry that its send out so late. I just got the finalised information tonite also. :)))) It will be fun. I got a peek at the deco.. its super nice. Auntie Esther's design and concept is like wow ( thumbs up ) ...i personally love it lots.. hee hee. (",) She can really tansform a place and set the atmosphere for the occassion! So can learnt from her here and there... "tou shi" abit. ok... need to go liaoz... Zzzzzz if not will b late for sch.. chaoz!

What To Say?

2005-01-03T22:48:00.000+08:00

3rd Jan, guess its the day that many experienced 1st day of sch huh...this is especially so for the Secondary 1 and also the JC students for the 1st 3 months =) As for me.. not really la. Joel3 jus ask me whether i started school liaoz.. and the reality is that i've started my new school term since 13th Dec 2004. :( Sigh.. wonder if the break (holiday) will be the same as of the previous break that i had - 12 days. So short and so precious to re-charge my energy. Ha ha =)

Today had discussion with classmates till about 2pm. So sad.. all the meeting rooms are taken up so had to use an empty classroom where lessons will be conducted at 2 pm. But then gotta thk God for that! At least there's a room to use. Ever since school term begins, projects or rather group work had been assigned. Not that i'm complaining but it really does help in understanding concepts and also in application with lots of reading and search of information to be done. Its good.. so that i wont b stressed for examz. ( i hope so!! =|) ...i need to buy bks again. Can u imagine, one marketing text will cost about 100plus ? Oooooo that's super XXXXXxxx! Even thou sch bkstore is cheaper but still need to cough out 65 bucks. This is really killer. Aiz.. and the best part is that we need to use this particular text becoz its complied by the Uk prof ( who will be one of the marker for the examz scripts ) What can i say man.... but despreately needed that extra infomation! :|

Ooooooo Godma gave me a call while watching meeting the Fockers with Maggie. And guess what.. she's shopping ! ( without me ..so sad.. sob sob=(( ) Actually wanna to ask her when she's going shopping..need some ideas from her ma.. but then.. guess she's done with it liaoz. Movie is funny and stupid..HMmmmm honesty is still the best policy huh... then GayLord will need not go thru so many negative events when the in-laws meet. ha ha ...the jokes are quite crude thou. Many a times we want to impress people that we meet and thus, we try to project an imagine.. like marketing a product in having a fancy packaging. I guess ultimately, its the content that really matters.. if u have the substance, u had it. :))

This is the same as christian life, is it? We always heard people saying that we dont want to develop the form but without the power. And Jesus always focusing on the inside than the outside.. how can you conclude that a cup is clean by judging its outter appearance? Its only when the inner being is clean, then it will outflow to the outter appearance. :)) ( its a simple truth . Think all of u know right.. so fundamental but yet... many failed to apply it in our life. I'm many times gulity of it too =| )

I think it applies to SIN too. I was reading the Bibile from Genesis. And a verse caught my eyes. ^ Gen 4:7- Sin is lurking at the door, its desire is for you but you must MASTER it.^ Sin is just like the ever-changing environment that we are interacting.. jus like the weather.. always changing and in other countries, the four seasons are experienced. Sin can be in many form...and we need to have the closeness with God inorder to MASTER it. So having the form of christianity does not make you a christian. You will simply be a person grounded with the christian beliefs but not a follower of Christ! Stay close to Christ then and with his strength we will be overcomers!! ~ Live out CHRIST in our Life~

Technical Fault

2005-01-02T15:40:00.000+08:00

Hi guys and gals,
well some of you had told me about the msn msg on the update of my blog.. :) okies.. this is really updating it now! Its really a technical fault. The prog is not working fine.. sorry for those who had visited my blog and were disappointed :(

This is the 1st day of the NEW YEAR. Wow.. 2005 is finally here. I believe its just gonna get more exciting! :) I was in the taxi on the last day of 2004 and the taxi driver was mentioning that after afew hours it will be 2005 . The difference between 2004 and 2005 is just by a few hours and seconds. Once it hit 12am, its a new day and a new year and we had crossed over to the new year just like that. It caught me thinking about the significance of the lst day of the year. Well i believe many must had been on an evaluating mode , thinking of how had we lived for the past 355 days and also having fleshes of memories of the events that took place. ( everybody says: Ruth's talking about you! ha ha =)))) )

2004 had been an eventful year for me. Having back in serving the youths for a year plus , i've truely learnt lots of stuffs, especially on people management skills. My leadership skills had been moulded too. It was really tuff in a sense to correct ppl and at the same time not "tearing" them down..rubbing them the right way , allowing them to grow and experience LIFE?! This is especially tuff to "correct" people of my generation. ( dont know what words to use and how to phrase the sentences man... :|) haahahh. Everyone of us will go through certain stages of our life so that we learn to manage stress, grief, anger, pain, disappointment,..etc.

Sometimes i do wonder if i've been "over-protective" to the youths that i cared and ministered to, where i try to minimize the impact on them. Aiz.... its always a struggle for me.. coz i cant play God in their lives. Some of us had to go through certain things so that we can grow and go on to the next level of maturity. And i had to learn to let go, which is really tuff ( do i sound like a parent or wad? Ai yoz.. like so OoooooLlllllllllDdddddddd.. :| ) But all in all, its been really fun working and serving with the youths. My prayer is that the next generation of leaders will be raised and do much greater works !! ( You heard me.... the 18 and below ??!!! :O )

So in this new year, i'm looking forward to building and establishing new friendships and enhancing the current friendships that were made ! This is especially so with Germaine and Felicia! They are such loveable disciples and great to see them grow! I'm excited in nurtuting this mentoring relationship with you, gals... and i believe that we will definitely grow even deeper in our journey with God in this new year.

For my beloved readers, i hope that its the same for you too, establishing a deeper and closer walk with God. Fan up the flame and passion for out Lord Jesus, together with the Lord, we will going on to greater hights in LIFE (which consist of spiritual life, physical life , emotional life and mental life ) . God bless!

Sigh

2004-11-23T15:56:00.000+08:00

Hi Friends,
Long waited i supposed. I've been rather busy these few weeks in praparing for exam. Thou exam is not over yet(have not even started :( ) but i thot i should blog.

Been rather upset, b'coz i've jus received news that the case study for coming exam on 3rd Dec had been changed. Oh man.. such a short notice given and there isnt enough time to prepare. I just hope that this exam paper can be postpone. (Arhhh is really very sickening) MDIS always have administration problem. Sigh.... but one more year to go.. but no matter how i must pull through it. Its just getting more and more sian. I dunno why. Wonder if i've studied too much.

This is the last week of preparation for coming exam and i'm so tired. Just feel like sleeping, slacking, chatting, playing games... doing all things but STUDY. I think i left recapping . So sick of the preparation. HMMMmmmz ( forgive me ....i'm really just airing it out LOUD over here.. ha ha :| )

Okies so much of the complaining. For the past weeks, There's an constant question that's been popping out now and then : How big is my God? I'm stunned by this question. Its a question that i'm not able to find any qnswer with my finite mind. Anyone can find qnz to it?? It caught me thinking .. truly how big is my God? It seems as thou God want to put right certain perspective that i have, certain ideas, .... etc. Many a times when i feel that i cant make it, this qnz will then popped right into my face again. I cant help but to break down b4 God and say that You indeed will enable me to go through it once more.

As i was mentioning in my earlier entries, i'm very near to the working force and somehow unknowingly, fear grip me. I'm so fearful to enter into the working force. I'm not sure where to go, which sector or which industry to work for. ( having a general management degree seems like all can fit in.) These questions somehow had cloud me and becomes so big till i put God in a box without knowing it. God is so gentle in reminding me that He holds my world in His hands, and my future and destiny is in Him. I began to surrender my life once again into His hands. Unconsciously, i took things into my own hands, rule my own life, make plans with God.( Oh dear.. this is really getting out of hand ....isnt it? ) But i think God for His mercy and grace to lead me back in letting me know that He is the perfector and finisher of my faith. Everything begins with Him and ends with Him. :)

I'm cant fully say that i've got it and moved on from where i am, but definitely taking small steps. Its a lesson that i relearnt again. A Christian princple that i had to relearnt at a different stage of my life and i think its worth to re-learn things that are considered fundamental in our Christian walk. So, jia you in our journey of faith. :))) In ending, i would like to post this song.

WITH ALL I AM

Into Your hands
I commit again
With all I am
For You Lord

You hold my World
In the palm of Your hands
And I am Yours
Forever

*Jesus I believe in You
Jesus I belong to You
You're the reason that I sing
Your're the reason that I live
With all I am

I'll walk with You
Wherever You go
Through tears and joy
I'll trust in You

And I will live
In all of Your ways
And Your promises
Forever

Confused

2004-11-01T22:20:00.000+08:00

Hmmmz seems like i've not blog for quite sometime. Well, the past days or weeks have been rather busy. On Sunday, the preacher (sorry, cant really remember the name..hee hee) was talking abt the difference between Mary and Martha and it caught me thinking of myself. Am i a Mary or Martha? I think my nature is very much like Martha, always doing something. Its kinda hard to "slack" or "stone' or "zhio boh" when i'm with a crowd of people. I do chill out at times... (me not robot la) but not when there are many people around me. :)

When it comes to worshipping or when i sense that God wants me to have that total concentration on Him, of coz, definitely i'll be like Mary. I guess this story is recorded to remind us of worshipping God or coming before God with a heart that's ready to sit at His feet, a heart that's ever ready to listen to what God wants to say, a heart that's sensitive to God's agenda. Sometimes when we come before God, we are like Martha. Just like what the speaker says.. we have a long shopping list with us. We come before God with that shopping list, grap what we need to grap (doing QT which include: prayer, reading the Word, worship, etc) , make the payment and off we go. To come before God like Mary takes lots of discipline. God requires our whole being (body, soul and spirit) to focus on Him. This is especially so when things are not going all that smoothly. The situation that we are worried about or concerned is always at the back of our mind when we come before God. If not, then, we might be busy telling God of the situation that affects us but forgot to pause to listen to what God has got to say about the situation. :) Many a times, it happens to me too.

I make it a point to "greet" God whenever i began writing my journal. Its a served to remind me that God is just a breathe away from me and to acknowledge Him in my daily routine. This helps me to pause for a while and to chit-chat with God. Sometimes when walking, i like to communicate with God. And through the happenings around me, God does speaks to me. Just like i was sharing with the homecell once of what i witness during one of the bus rides to church. I began to understand what the Bible means by saying that we must have a faith like a child. :) I learnt something that day from the bus ride to church. I'm always excited when God taught me through object lesson, or rather real life examples (right before my very eyes) It helps me to remember the truth much better too. :) So i just want to encourage all of us to open our eyes or be always connected to God even when you are running your errands or going throught the daily routine. You never know when God will give you surprise. :)

Okies... got back all my reults for the previous 6 papers that i took. Oooo its been trailling as the results does not reveal all in one result slip but rather in 3. So you can guess that my heart is being shocked atleast 3 times. Ha ha. Well, i think i should be used to it.. but then.... opening result slips are not that fun after all. At least for me as i'm not the super intelligent or smart alex la. Some of you had already know my results. :) All glory be to God. Coz without Him, i'm not able to have cleared all my papers, considering i have only 12 days to prepare for 6 papers. (this is really no joke kay. I dunno how i do it but its really stressful) 2nd yr of Uni had passed and i'm into my last lap. Many of my friends are already in the discussion of jobs. One of them asked me: " so Ruth, after you graduate, where do you want to work? In a MNC (multinational company) ?" I looked at her and i said that i do hope to get into MNC but as to which area, i'm not so sure. It seems alittle scary when you know that the next thing in life is to enter the work force. Maybe there are others out there that can't wait to be working and pursuing their dreams and make a difference (earning millions) but i not all excited about working life. :(

Seeing that one yr will passed real soon, i need to once again come before God to listen for direction as to what He desires for me. Currently, i've got no clue yet. I'm reminded of the session with Adrain Chua where he asked us to reflect on who is God to us and what we wants to do for God. The words that i've said, the passion that i had mentioned in the tape starts to play back to me. I remembered mentioning about how precious God is to me (especially coming from a non-christian family background where attending service is not that easy when i was young in faith) and wanting to make a difference to the people around through my life coz i believe in lifestyle evangelism. Oh boy, its as though God's reminding me of what i've spoke 2-3yrs ago (i think so, cant remember :|)

This is still very much a general statement that i made. I think making a difference is something that we ought to do, regardless of how young someone's faith is or whether one is at the crossroad or not. This is because we are all of some influence to the people around us. :) So, i'm still praying and seeking God for direction for my career. So, will really appreciate if you can keep me in prayers.

Okies.. that's all for now,folks. God bless !! :)

God Is Awesome

2004-10-24T16:11:00.000+08:00

Sunday's worship is awesome. Its really great to see God moved in our midst. Indeed we worship a living God who never fails to be near to those whose heart is seeking him earnestly! I believe that many hearts are being lifted up and is touched by God. Being a worship leader, this is the very thing that i ask for: God move in our mdist. Let not i be the one that stirs the heart of the congregation to draw close to You but You draws them and capture them to worship You. I , myself is truely blessed by the time of worship, thou i was leading it. My faith is really strength! This is one of the worship where its very different. Different in the sense that i do not know exactly how to flow or where to flow. It all gotta depends on the actual thing as to what should i say. Usually, i'll prepare in such a way that i practice my "speech" so that i wont be so gang chiong that i speak too fast.. but i think i still spoke too fast.. hehhehe :) Each time when i sense that God really want to move in certain way, i just could not speak properly and my body will kinda shiver that makes it difficult to pronounce the words clealy. But anyway, at least my spirit is at rest!

Im so amazed by the worship team. Their attitude is working out the introduction of Ancient of Days really encourages my heart. This is especially so with Jun Yang. He only heard the introduction on Thursday and managed to play it on the electric guitar. Oh man. i wasn't expecting to follow each note and scale of the CD. Each musician really put their heart and mind to work it out. Thumbs up for them! Hee Hee Oh yah. ofcoz not forgetting Ivan. Thk him already but thot jus mentioned here again. He must be' stressed' by me (Ha Ha) but really thank you for the support... the instrument that plays from the begining to the end of the worship sesion! Thks Bro! ;) Heard from Tian Wei that you are stressed up. Try to take things one step at a time la. Can understand when the load just drop on you. Jia You!

Oh yes.. Marcus.. You are such a gem! Thks also for the many times where you avail yourself to play the drums when Jon Tan cant make it. And you rock at the band practice for the concert. Wow, so very soon will see you in action more huh! So continue to nature this gift / talent and thru your playing, it will outflow the spirit of God to minister to people., just like David who played the music to release Saul from his 'headache'. :)) So continue to fan up the passion for Christ!! Seeing you guys( Joel3 Clement Ben Warren Lemuel Marcus) and gals(joy priscilla Eleanor) practice, i saw lots of potentials in you! All from the Sec 1 and 2 cell (besides clement la, but still can include you in! YOU'RE WELCOME). I'm so proud of you! You guys and gals always never fails to surprise me (right from the tambourine dance ;)) and i can see that God's hand is upon each one of you. So, hold on to God and grow from glory to glory !!

Today came back home super tired! The moment i step into the house, tiredness just consumed me. I guess its becoz i was generating lots of energy for the whole day and didnt realised that the batt is actually less than 1/2 of the last bar. But then, i still forced myself to go for dinner with Family coz its Daddy's bday. Not the actual day thou, but certainly the only day that we can gather together to celebrate. :))) A simple meal together but i believe it meant lots and lots to my dad! I was re-charged after dinner. I thot that i'll be a dead duck by then and thot that i might not finish my report in time so that classmates can compile. But amazingly, i did it and still have time to blog. God must had enable me to do so, coz my physical body is shrek! Today had a long day. Started my day at 7am (the time i wake up)

Okies.. so much typing..guess i'll sign off here. Thks for reading! :D

What A Day

2004-10-20T16:00:00.000+08:00

This is the 3rd day of this week. Oooo finally mid-week and comes the 2nd half of the week. This week seems to be so busy and time passes real fast, packing with so many things: JG- cell teaching, Worship service- leading worship this sunday, school- write on report on the case study of Reebok. I have been trying to understand the case study since last saturday and it seems like the more i read them and trying to formulate the report, the more i feel that i'm answering out of point. I'm really going crazy soonz (Oh Lord, have mercy on me :|)

My time management for this few days is really bad. Sigh, should really apologies to the worship team that i send out the songs to them only at 9pm today. It had really slip out of my mind and i was just wondering if today's wednessday or tuesday. Then i realised that its WEDNESSDAY and i've not send out the songs.... ( Oh Noooooo ) sorry guys, hope that the songs send out reaches you in time. :| Been looking at the case study till wee hours and then turning up for discussion. I wonder how am i going to do it for examz cos i've got 5 case study given 2 weeks b4 the paper and then 2 case study out of the 5 will be selected. After this week, i've got exactly one month b4 the examz began. Though i have only 4 papers this time round to attempt, more is required from 3rd year student in the answer. Sometimes, writing those strategies seems as thou you are really the CEO of the company and then got to think like one to resolve problems and to help your company to maintain its market position as a market leader and to have competitive advantages over your competitors. Ai Yo.. so much into the business studies. (Ta bo leh Ta Han...Arhhhhh ) Cant imagine myself working under such environment .. ha ha :D

I'm really looking forward to weekends, to be away from studies and play( especially with the powerhse children) . I just found out that its a way to destress for me.. ha ha. Connecting with the children when leading worship at powerhse never fails to see authentic worship being offered up to God. It is really an awesome sight that i got to witness. Its as thou you had a bird's eyeview on the beautiful creation that is carefully engineered. No wonder God says that we need to come b4 him with a childlike faith. :)) Worshipping God in spirit and in truth, with no masked (and make-up hee hee) where we bare our hearts b4 Him!

My Free Day

2004-10-15T05:05:00.000+08:00

Today had a free day from School. Hmmz been rather lazy these few days. So i told myself that i must get out of the house and do something. Ok, managed to go for a swim just now. Oh Man.. i jus love the Sun. Cooool... with the hot sun and the cool waters, its just perfect! Took a train to Yishun MRT station, then realised there were many secondary school students with joy in their faces. So i presume that they had their last paper today and cant wait to fly and celebrate.. hee hee. I believe many is already in the midst of it man! ( oh no... i wonder if the pool will b filled with lots of xiao hai zi :( ) Anyway after i reach Yishun MRT still got to take a 5-10 mins walk. So hot man.. but i enjoy walking anways.

Having a dip in the pool is wonderful. I guess it helps to my body to relax. Stress's going up up up but i'm trying to push it at the back of my mind. The thought of all the research work that i've got to do and the reading up of company's profile; more to that have to do a biz analysis on it. Its gonna be fun i guess but then, its alot of work to be done. (ok Ruth stop giving excueses :|) Just got a shocking news, one of the papers that i'm taking requires me to read up atleast 6 case study. Oh man.... that really stressed me up!! This is the 1st time that i got to read so many case study of companies where i need to apply some STRATGIC MANAGEMENT theoris that i had come across. ( however as i thot abt it, stress of not able to make it do knock at the door of my heart. But somehow, there's like a weight of clamness some where in my heart that kept repeating: its gonna be just alright )

Ok, so much abt sch and all the stressful things. I took a bus home after my swim. Heard some boys dsicussing abt the paper that they did. During the bus journey, i was thinking that many a times we approach our learning curve in such a way that we work hard till the exam, then we play hard. So the emotional strength, physcial strength, mental strength that are attached to it allow us to have that concentration and to push through this exam season. After that, we simply just slack. Qnz: is that learning should be? We learn all we can, give the best shot in exam, got the result that we desire and then we can forget abt it. My, that's how i learn things too, being in such a learning culture for so many years. And with this many of us, like myself do bring that with us when it comes to our christian life. As many had said that Christian life is a journey. This also means that Christian life is a race ( as put it by Paul in Phillippians ) and this race that we are in, is an ongoing race. It will be finished when we meet Jesus again. Having this concept of Chrsitian life is a race then i guess the learning culture that we all are familiar with cant be applied. We cant say that we prepare ourself and then give the best shot at the 100m race and that's it. Thou there are places of ministry for us, for example preaching the word or worship leading, we do need to prepare and definitely give our very best for each session. But when it comes to our relationship with Jesus, the very foundamental stuffs: prayer, reading the word, worship; it can be the appraoch of a scoring board. Once we did it, but put a tick.

This gives me a new look to QT, my relationship with Jesus, falling in love over and over and over again with Him...etc. Maybe i've really approach Christian life the same as i did to other things as well. I really need to see it as a race where i must not slack. Coz if i slack, then i'm not moving forward and completing the race. :)